-
THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
This week you will get wet in the rain, but not feel it.
-
THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Did you ever step into the darkness fearing you'll never find your way out?
-
THIS WEEKS HORRORSCOPE
Aries shall arise.
-
THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
How awkward was the kolakoli between you and your father?
-
THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Your life is as complicated as that jilapi you are having.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
You don't need to read this.
-
THIS WEEKS HOROSCOPE
Are you proud, ARIES?
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Your eyes and my pokes. Your lies and my jokes.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
I can't see where your fortune lies.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Take a grain of rice. Now sniff it.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
How deep is your love? Too deep apparently.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Aren't you tired of being a third wheel, son?
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Why are you just staring? Start eating.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Stop mourning, you never listened to Prince anyway.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Don't ignore the early signs of mad cow disease.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Crying helps rid the eyes of dangerous chemicals.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Keep tweeting at Kanye until he responds. It'll happen.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Jason Voorhees is behind you.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
The dog with no tail is your nightmare.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Oh my dear Aries, you should eat more berries.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Live on films; it can make your life beautiful.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Never believe your friends.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
The more you learn about trees, the more you'll want to be one.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Hating everyone is not going to bring you any happiness.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Roses are red, no more single bed.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Try walking on a rope that's tied from one of your horns to another.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
You remind people of Donald Trump's comb over.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Once a desperate businessman said, "I believe in GIVE AND TAKE, AND TAKE MY GIVE".
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
Your mind is curly just like your horns.
-
THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
To be rich, start shearing yourself.
