How a girl should get ready
From the beginning of time immemorial, it has been established that females take an exasperatingly long amount of time to get ready before venturing out. Besides the endless products for makeup that are to be applied on the surface, there is a lot going on internally as well. All moves made are meticulously calculated because just a bit of carelessness might trigger a chain of events that results in the entire society to start talking about her like she's trending on some public discussion forum.
I am now going to give you a sneak peek into the minds of these everyday strugglers so that you all are more considerate the next time.
So just pick a cute dress, you say? Well, that should be the easiest task. But, unfortunately, when you see a girl staring unwaveringly into her closet she turned upside down a few minutes back, she is not exactly searching for Narnia. She's deeply contemplating on which shady roads she will have to take later in the day because malicious and corrupted gazes would follow her all day. If the means of commute is to be a bus, then just forget that cute off-shouldered shirt, forget you have goals or desires.
You'll have to make sure that the dress is not too revealing or body-hugging or else no eligible bachelor would want to marry you, and as that should be the most important goal of your life, you will have to comply. Such audacious attire would also invite the comments from the aunties lurking out there because honestly the length of your skirt might just be inversely proportional to the elevation of the sea level. Or else, why is it always the talk of the town?
You can wear all sorts of pants as long as you are allowing your significant male counterpart to wear THE pants in your relationship. Do not fret over meaningless trends like thigh gaps because no one is really concerned about those, just like the existing wage gap.
Now that a dress has been picked that would satisfy all other stakeholders of the society besides yourself, it is time to work on that beautiful face that gets unwarranted validation from songs written by unappealing boy bands. The foundation will have to be applied first and it has to be ensured that it is 5 times lighter than your own skin tone or else you might just cause an eclipse. Next comes the concealer. Dab and blend it aggressively because no one wants to know that you have been up all night working relentlessly, they just want to see a pretty face so hide those dark circles. A highlighter is optional, if you do go for it, make your cheekbones shine unlike your future because let's face it, you are ultimately destined to only make the crockery shine at your in-laws.
Have some music on to set up the groove of the day so that you can ignore all the comments passed at you and not pay any heed to them. Meanwhile, apply water-resistant mascara, because you would not want your eyes to be smudged from all the crying you will have to do at the end of the day, anyway.
It is said that a lipstick can influence the mood of a girl more than anything else. It can do the task of boosting your confidence in a jiffy. However, too much confidence is looked down upon. One has to be cautious about the colour since only a "fast" girl would wear, red. It's almost as if women who wear dark lipsticks would dare to shatter the corporate glass ceiling.
So, there you have it guys. Now you know all the factors that contribute towards girls being late all the time. Until or unless, these issues get taken care of, kindly deal with it.
*drops mic and ambitions*
Iqra suffers from wanderlust, dreams of discovering the Loch Ness Monster and occasionally complains about Economics. Tell her to get a life at [email protected]