Me: Wow, it's hot. I hope it rains today.
Rain: You got it, fam.
Me: It's been 12 hours, rain. You can stop now.
Rain: Hahahahaha. NO.
Monsoon is here and 'tis officially the season to be poetic, a e s t h e t i c, or simply drown in Mirpur. Purchasing a boat for real should be high on your priority list if you want to make it to your appointments on time. Finding yourself in inconvenient situations is more likely with your surrounding being all muddy, jam-packed, damp and by 'damp' I mean submerged.
In order to survive this monsoon, follow all the dos and don'ts below, because in Dhaka, it's more of a “rain of terror”. Hahaha OMG please stop raining.
DO NOT PASS THROUGH FLOOD-PRONE AREAS
Before getting out on rainy days, besides interrogating about grid-locked roads on social media, try and find out roads which are under water so that you can avoid them.
Avoid areas like Bashundhara and Dhanmondi Road 27 because your vehicle is most likely to stop functioning with water seeping in. Students belonging to institutions located in such geographically unpleasant places, you have my sympathies.
TRY NOT TO GET VERY EXCITED ABOUT RAIN
If you are one of the lucky ones who gets to be indoors on a rainy day, then having gorom gorom khichuri might be a good idea but posting heavily filtered pictures of it on social media, not so much. You have to be careful about not hurting the feelings of people who are missing out on lunch, dinner, and who knows which meal of the day, while being stuck in traffic. They would see pictures of you all warm and cosy with the perfectly set plate of khichuri in that drenched state and will most likely feel sorry for their own misery, perform poorly at work and end up getting fired. See how quickly that escalated? Will you be able to sleep at night with that kind of guilt?
MAKE THE DAY SPECIAL FOR YOUR LOVED ONE
It's dark, overcast, and sombre. People are naturally inclined to be low-spirited with lo-fi hip hop music playing in the background, on the verge of missing their exes and rightfully vexed after having to walk through a cesspool of everything ungodly. It is the most appropriate time to try and cheer up your special one. Being a bit more understanding and fetching a hot cup of coffee would probably mean a lot to them. Take them out on a nice date, boost up that romance-o-meter, and take even more aesthetic photos. Just ensure the entire country doesn't get into a hot-headed weekly debate over those.
Keep the weather forecast in check and be sure not to trust it. Carry an umbrella with you always, regardless of how scorching the day is predicted to be because before you know it, you'll be swimming in water that's actually sewage juice. Do no wear your prized shoes because the frequently occurring puddles would reduce their life expectancy by half and once you take them off, you will most likely discover a new sort of creature in them. Also, do not stand on the sidewalk daydreaming about Cox's Bazar because cars passing by would surely spatter you with puddle water and leave you drenched and dripping, just like in your daydream.
YOU'RE REALLY NOT THAT SOCIAL
Almost everyone can feel their artistic side taking over like the Hulk the moment they witness the first drop of rain. You will feel the beast shaking you from within and your body will start vibrating with sheer power until you type in those magical words on social media for the world to see: “OMG! Brishti!” It's almost as if no one would realise it's pouring outside unless they read your status. Rain-centric statuses for the millionth time in three days will make you lose your friends, I promise. If you are taking pictures of raindrops on windows and posting it with a caption related to the purpose of human life and existence, you need to stop and evaluate your life choices.
Finally, try not to get hit by all the sentiments listening to November Rain, because it's only August for crying out loud.
Iqra suffers from wanderlust, dreams of discovering the Loch Ness Monster and occasionally complains about Economics. Tell her to get a life at email@example.com