THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
ARIES
Bananas in pyjamas will tap your shoulder any second now.
TAURUS
You must assert your dominance tonight. Use any means necessary.
GEMINI
A raging bull above will assert their dominance over you.
CENCER
Contact a real estate agent for issues regarding the empty void in your life.
LEO
I heard the middle-east is nice this time of the year.
VIRGO
If this does not make sense to you, how can your own life make sense, then?
LIBRA
The R is silent. So is the cow that will never testify against you.
SCORPIO
Stop writing sad stories. Spread happiness instead. At least try.
SAGITTARIUS
Your little brother is not a dog. Stop pretending so.
CAPRICON
Dank memes are a great currency in heaven. Save them.
AQUARIUS
Try to share a few happy stories with Scorpio. Maybe that will change their minds.
PISCES
Two heads are more than one. Just like my fingers.
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