Reverse culture shock: Is it real?

We've all contemplated visiting "developed" countries. Some amongst us have been able to check it off their bucket list already while others still look forward to a drive through streets free of scads of garbage and potholes.

Many of us are close friends with people who frequent or are expatriates in developed countries, allowing us to live their experiences somewhat vicariously. Now that's great and everything, but when that friend says something like "Dost, I couldn't breathe last night, the air here is SO BAD", what do you do? 

Other quotes of said friend include, "The elevators here are so tiny" followed by a condescending bout of laughter (mind you, the lift in question belongs to the building he'd lived in for the past 20 years, and been away for just 10 months), "How do you guys tolerate the WiFi here?! I can't even" (once again, sulking about the same WiFi he'd used for years), and "Why did you write the Snapchat caption in Bangla? My foreign friends won't understand". 

Yours truly has also been hapless enough to have actually witnessed the reactions present below from friends and acquaintances returning from overseas. 

With his car unavailable, one dude refused to travel anywhere even remotely distant from his place because he was scared of riding rickshaws.

Another friend took almost a month to readjust to Bangladeshi food. Upon a visit to a renowned fast food joint in the meantime, the look on his face as he gobbled down Western food was priceless.   

Now, losing touch with Bangla can be excused as a consequence of not speaking it for years. But I know someone who spent every single night of his stay abroad Skyping with friends and family in fluent Bangla, and yet was unable to string two sentences together in Bangla once he got here. 

Then again, some reactions are downright heartwarming: like their expressions upon taking that first bite of fuchka after ages, or the delight dorm students demonstrate upon tasting home-cooked meals instead of Ramen for dinner.

On a more serious note, these friends might face legitimate predicaments here: certain vehicles whooshing through the wrong side and almost running them over; not knowing their way around overcrowded public transportation; having trouble tolerating the humidity and traffic; readjusting to family life after living independently in dorms for a long period; failing to recall routes back home; and so on.

Some may even plummet into depression and undergo an identity crisis due to reverse culture shock. You might think, "How hard can resettling be? They've lived here before" and snub them with a "get over it", which is potentially the worst thing you could do to help them. They might've pushed themselves to rapidly adapt to new cultures abroad, and now they have to go through it all over again. The pressure to re-conform is just as intense, even for people who've spent less than a year overseas.

As you can deduce already, reverse cultural shock is an actual problem (unless we're dealing with people who just fake it). At least there are support groups or sympathetic counsellors to help cope with culture shock abroad, whereas nothing even remotely similar exists back here. Being friends, the least we can do is try to be empathetic towards their problems – even when some of those problems might be a part of our lives – and make them feel at home again. Although it might be annoying when some of them can't stop going on and on about their adventures abroad, it's more than likely they're just trying to share their elation with you. This may also be a means of coping with their newfound anxiety. And hey, instead of snubbing them, listening wholeheartedly might just give you a pleasantly vicarious experience. 

Crystal's a foodaholic whose only life achievement has been being the insanest one in the room involuntarily. Yes, it's her real name. Send her dank memes, good music, and all things aesthetic at [email protected]