Trump to wear supporters’ masks first to immunise them at indoor rallies

Donald Trump yesterday signed an executive order that would "let his supporters get the benefit of his antibodies when he breathes into their masks" at rallies, heading into the elections on November 3.

The move came after growing criticism from anyone with the ability to apply whatever education they were exposed to about the lack of masks among Trump supporters at rallies, especially indoor ones.

The uproar and outrage grew among the liberal left as, even after contracting coronavirus himself -- and spreading it to more than 30 people in the White House -- the president had refused to wear a mask or even make mask-wearing mandatory at his rallies.

While he kept shouting red-faced and spittle-mouthed at indoor rallies, which were called superspreader events by scientists and other "idiots", a second wave of the coronavirus pandemic hit the world's preeminent superpower.

"But it will be okay," Trump screamed at an indoor rally in Oklahoma. "You guys, my supporters, are like me. I got the China virus and I recovered like Superman. It's all super, superspreaders in a superpower and we are all Supermen.

"We will Make America Grieve Again!" he yelled, and did not correct himself.

But fearing the second wave, many undecided voters started staying away from his rallies, right about the time Trump tried to jump at election opponent Joe Biden and cough into his mouth during the second debate on Thursday. Lucky for Biden -- more on that later -- Trump ran out of steam by the time he crossed half of the 15 feet that separated the two septuagenarians.

"I know he has overseen economic growth the likes of which this country has never seen, but maybe there is something to this coronavirus thing," a man claiming to be an undecided voter said.

"I mean, my whole family went to one of his rallies two weeks ago and now they are all dead. I'm not feeling too good myself. We are not a country like Africa; we are educated about the length and breadth of this flat Earth of ours, and we should protect ourselves according to science," he said, panting for breath.

Trump's latest executive order was so that people would start coming back to his rallies. Supporters have to come up to him one by one, and he will give them a mask that he has been wearing for a minute. Scientists said antibodies cannot be spread in that manner, only the virus can, but they were drowned out by chants of "idiots".

HAS TRUMP ACTUALLY RECOVERED?

A White House insider who is desperate now to be an outsider said, under condition of anonymity, that Trump still had Covid-19.

"He actually recovered once but, never having taken drugs or alcohol all his life, he has become addicted to Dexamethasone [a steroid he was treated with when he first contracted the virus] and the Superman feeling he got. So he secretly got infected again in lab conditions, just so that he could keep getting the steroid. I also overheard him saying something about infecting Joe Biden during one of the debates."

What good, however, would infecting his supporters do?

"He says lower turnouts mean Republican victory. We tried to tell him that if infected, his supporters could not vote, but he had already started eating 30 burgers in his roid rage."