‘Coincidence? I think not’

On a fateful day, Officers Abul and Kabul arrested a student during a protest against the price hike of kidney dialysis. The arrestee was defiant of the police officers, making preposterous arguments about freedom of speech and the right to protest, which had really ticked the officers off.

And duly, as one would expect, the student was taken to the police cell and beaten to a pulp.

"You. are. a . menace. to . society," said Officer Abul, finishing each word of the sentence with a kick to the student's stomach.

But the student kept making them upset, spewing woke dialect like a sermon.

"You can't do this. It is my right, as a citizen…," and before he could even finish his sentence, Officer Kabul stepped into the ring and slapped him across the face.

"Justice is subjective. Just because a citizen is claiming that they got 'beaten', doesn't always mean it's true. And besides, this particular citizen is a student, and you all know how they all are liars. When they are late to submit anything, they blame it on their pets. When they are absent from class, they kill their grandparents in their excuses probably a thousand times. Liars, all of them!" said Inspector Kaizer.

"And we are  merely serving our duty of crowd control," he said.

After a good beating session, with a wave of his mighty pen, Nazmul filed a case, accusing Masnoon of assaulting law enforcers.

But alas, Masnoon managed to secure bail and later lodged a complaint, claiming he was subjected to torture while in police custody.

"I think you need to call Inspector Kaizer, Abul. Just in case, to be safe," winked Kabul.

The court declared that the officers must show themselves in court to present their defence. However, our law-loving, gun-slinging officers, unfortunately caught the stomach flu together, leading to them taking a sick leave.

Following a court order, CID sprang into action and filed a case against the esteemed officers. However, it seems that somewhere along the way, some "mistakes" were made. The CID's final report revealed that there were indeed some "errors". Turns out that some of the information presented was, in fact, false. One might wonder how such mistakes could occur, but let us not dwell on the trivialities.

"Justice is subjective. Just because a citizen is claiming that they got 'beaten', doesn't always mean it's true. And besides, this particular citizen is a student, and you all know how they all are liars," said Inspector Kaizer, addressing a press conference.

"When they are late to submit anything, they blame it on their pets. When they are absent from class, they kill their grandparents in their excuses probably a thousand times. Liars, all of them!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, this correspondent visited the residence of the two officers to check up on their health, but found both residences to be empty.

Contacting Officer Kabul on the phone, the sound of the wind blared in the background as he tried to hear this correspondent over the phone. But immediately after this correspondent introduced themselves, he said, "Uh, brother, wrong number" and hung up.

The same occurred while calling Officer Abul. When he was told that ocean waves could be heard in the background, he immediately hung up the phone.

After CID revealed the synopsis of the case however, both returned from their sick leave immediately and presented themselves at court.

When asked why they were out of the city when the investigation was ongoing, Officer Abul said, "Your Honour, I believe there is no better medicine than a bit of fresh air. So, when I felt better, I returned."

Kabul echoed the same, failing to come up with anything original.

However, the student still remains elusive, despite repeated attempts to contact him for comments. Perhaps he is lost in the wilderness of justice, where the odds are never in his favour. Or maybe, just maybe, he is recovering from his own ailment -- a condition known as "truthsickness" that seems to afflict those who dare challenge the establishment.