Dreams
I clawed at my throat; my nails digging into my skin. The pressure of my nails was good enough to leave some crescent shaped bruises. I just wanted the pain to end. I could not take it anymore. They even tried to tear away the last thing of value that I have--something that defined freedom to me. They tried to take away words from me.
Writing was my only escape route. It was what that still kept me tethered to this planet; it kept my soul attached to this hollow, otherwise, lifeless vessel. They wanted to control me. Everything I had. I feared to think. I feared that somehow they would learn my thoughts and even try to control them.
It was only months ago, when they forbid me to read. They burnt my books and along with it burnt everything that is magical that I had, memories they withheld. I knew it would be coming. I knew they would start going through my diary. My only last escape; and they were ready to lock it down as well. A surge of anger washed through me as I opened my door to find her leaning down to make sense of my soul. I was perplexed, infuriated and baffled.
I was not in control of myself when it happened. My fingers seemed to tingle with fire. She tried to explain everything. But she had taken things far beyond explanation. I was done being considerate and understanding. Her sight seemed to prick my skin. And I- I pushed her! The minute I saw my hands shoving her away, I knew now things went beyond repair. We couldn't fix this. Not in a million years.
Her face crumpled. It was what I feared the most. She was dead. So was I. Her shoulders slumped and she turned to disappear behind the darkness of the house.
She was gone; gone for now. I knew she wouldn't return. Now more than ever I wanted her to scream at me, to beat me, strangle me. But she did nothing. I sat in the darkness of the room hoping it would swallow me up. I cried; my mouth gaped open, the muscles contracted in attempt to make out a scream. But I couldn't find my voice.
I wanted the agony and pain to return. But only guilt lingered, feasting on whatever energy it found behind every wounded tissue that I had. Unable to decide on my next action, I lay on the cold floor hoping my mind would go numb and mask my pain for the night. I waited; I prayed for the pain, the torment, the agony to go away and the sleep find its way. I was blessed, and my prayers were heard. Slowly and silently, I drifted into a silent slumber.
Soon I found myself back in the Ice Queen's World. I was running through a series of mazes with icy shackles on my ankles, and the other end of the chain was tied to the Ice Queen's throne. I kept running…
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