Concert organisers play victim after things go wrong for 100th time

After attendees were left suffocated and sick in a mismanaged concert for the hundredth time in a row, the event management firm unSound Event Management has decided to play the victim yet again.  

In a press conference earlier today, the CEO of the organisation and predictably enough a BBA graduate, Shadman Sakib told the press, "After careful consideration and analysis of the recent events, this organisation has reached the unanimous conclusion that we're too good for this country and we don't owe anyone any explanation.

"It's not our fault that people are naive enough to assume that we'd have the barest sense of responsibility," continued Shadman. "Peasants like you are lucky that you got to see even a glimpse of the Indian singer we advertised in all our banners. Sure, it was just 15 minutes of him after 60 days of spamming your timelines with his face.But we could've just not brought him on stage at all and you wouldn't have been able to do anything other than whining about it on social media. In this country, everything is borderline fraudulent!"

"In the last concert, we were accused of selling tickets well over the capacity of the venue. There were multiple casualties owing to the heat, mismanagement, smoke and lack of ventilation. So, this time, we decided to go all in and put no cap on the ticket limit."

The organisers were also accused of not letting the headliner complete his set.

"We let our local bands perform well over an hour by cutting some time allotted for the Indian singers," explained Shadman. "This is our way of promoting local singers and if any of you have any complaints regarding this, you're clearly anti-nationals. In the next concert, we intend on bringing the foreign singer live on a video call, let him cover one song and charge the audience 10,000 bucks for it. If there's one thing I know about from years in the event management industry, it's that if you put a foreign face on the poster, gullible teenagers will pay no matter how pathetic our reputation is."

Addressing allegations of overselling the venue, the LinkedIn influencer defended his organisation. "In the last concert, we were accused of selling tickets well over the capacity of the venue. There were multiple casualties owing to the heat, mismanagement, smoke and lack of ventilation. So, this time, we decided to go all in and put no cap on the ticket limit," Shadman bragged. "The event was so mismanaged, we made our cricket board look good! Things got so bad that Times Magazine called us the greatest scam of the 21st century since the education sector.

"And when it comes to the claustrophobic condition of the venue and the smoke all around, do you have any idea how much people pay to be surrounded by smoke like this?" asked Shadman. "Just ask your friends who visit shisha lounges on weekends. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a long paragraph to write on Facebook claiming how I'm the real victim in this situation."

Meanwhile, the concert attendees are outraged by the lack of responsibility on the organisers' part.

Rupban Zaberi, one of the victims of the mismanagement, said, "Even after causing so much damage to the attendees, the organisers aren't apologetic. They've announced yet another event featuring another international artist next month in the same claustrophobic venue and they have the audacity to charge 10,000 bucks for it. I'm sure the concert will be as mismanaged as the rest of them."

I can't wait to get the tickets!"

Remind Ifti to be quieter at [email protected]