Observing a hartal hipster
I decided to take a walk not in a normal day but on a blooming hartal afternoon. In my defence, the hartal was till 2PM. Unlike the last time, where I had 250tk to spend on coffee, this time I only had 10 bucks on me for the magical disease-free cup of roadside tea and maybe a banana if I begged hard enough to the mama. I set out on my prospective plan; Now, to the reader it might seem normal for someone to take a walk in a hartal day but I live in Motijheel. Yes, people live there. No, I don't live in a bank.
As soon as I started walking towards Shapla Chattar, a man wearing a pair peach coloured jeans, a green t-shirt, a bandana covering the lower portion of his face and a set of hipster sunglasses started running at me. I'd appreciate the hilarity of the situation if not for the huge machete half his size which he was brandishing at me in a sort of "HULK SMASH" manner. I turned around and ran for my life towards what I call my home and what you call "a bank" while the Hipster Hartaller decided to pursue me until I got out of sight. As soon as I climbed two stories up, I decided to peer outside the window to observe what Mr. Peachy Pants was up to. I could risk doing that cause the maximum that could happen was that he could throw something at my face and I wouldn't be losing much if that happened. On the other hand, my favourite YOLO Hartal dude was pretty much lost as he left his group behind while chasing me. He looked around for any sign of a vehicle to pulverise or a fellow vandal but failed to find any. So what he did was raise his machete high above his head(showing that his t-shirt sported two holes in the armpit region) and scream "Hartal!".
No one responded.
He proceeded to curse at me for leading him here in the most creative of ways which included me not being worth even one of his Unspeakables. After hearing his tirade, I was left in no doubt that I wouldn't even be worth his Speakables thanks to his eloquent vocabulary. After venting his frustrations at me, he decided to chop away at a lamp post. Now, I don't know what sort of political strife drives a man to chop up a lamp post but this man slashed at the lamp post and somehow managed to unsettle the pole which resulted in a black box used by TV cable operators to fall in front of him in sparks. He screamed and jumped away at the new introduction but quickly recognised it as a target and started to chop away happily at it. That's when a hartal rally spreading destruction in its wake started coming towards him. YOLO Hartaller expressed his joy at the coming group by shouting and dancing in front of them but unfortunately for him, the feeling wasn't mutual. Someone threw a rock at his head and he fell screaming "Hartal"; thinking that it was an accident, he got up only to be struck down by a crowd of people and be beaten up into a pulp. After sufficiently injuring the poor Peach Pants, the crowd moved onto another avenue leaving the poor man on the streets. In my situation, most people would exact revenge by discharging on the unconscious body but people who have the balls to wear peach pants with green t-shirts hold a special place in my heart. So I just went to him with a bottle of water to see if I could be of any help. At my sight the guy just fired up and started screaming and cursing at me at the top of his voice and started blaming me for his broken ribs. So I chucked the water bottle at him which hit his head and delivered him out of consciousness. Oh well, at least he won't be thirsty when he gets up.
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