Vulnerability doesn't discriminate
How did we, as a society, perceive the recent murder case of Zubair Ahmed? We all did our fair share of wagging our tongues, expressed our dissatisfaction with the initial reports where the details didn't add up and we felt relief when evidence incriminated the suspect. We've treated this as an isolated case of homosexual, pedophilic assault.
Let's consider another case of a young male's death, as suicide or murder, resulting from sexual assault. Considering the population of Bangladesh, the probability of such an occurrence isn't too narrow. What will we do then? Surely, we can't dismiss it as an isolated case again. Surely, we can't keep doing that every time this occurs. This leaves us with our backs against the wall, but disserting the situation before we reach that point is probably a better idea.
Culturally, socially and verbally -- sexuality isn't something we openly talk about. Homosexuality, in particular, is considered unacceptable and we've condemned it as a crime under many scenarios. In fact, the reality of the existence of homosexuality is something that most individuals aren't willing to come to terms with. Pedophilia has remained in debate, since there aren't any proper parameters for age gaps between individuals that can qualify as pedophilic. All these, paired with all the misinformation and misconceptions floating around, leave us with vulnerability.
Are all pedophiles homosexual or all homosexuals pedophilic? No. Sexual assault, too, can be carried out homosexually or heterosexually. Pedophiles, therefore, can be male or female or of any other gender. However, since Zubair's demise, both terms have somehow interlinked to form one label. Although dialogues have opened up about homosexuality, most of it has taken the wrong angle. The question isn't about the wrongness of the sexual orientation, but the stigma surrounding it. The question isn't about what gender committed the sexual assault, rather it's about the fact that, no matter how we rephrase it, it's still going to be sexual assault. When socio-cultural factors are used to shush out these topics, we create greater problems. Why we do this basically boils down to gender roles, and the fact that emphasis is constantly put on heterosexuality as the normative. The general image of a homosexual individual is that of a feminine man -- not the image any male wants to project onto the patriarchal population. Think of the things we, in general, refer to as “gay”-- that gives a basic idea of how homosexuality is perceived amongst us.
This is reflected on how even the media covers sexual assault for each of the genders as well. If it's a female, the word “rape” is readily used. When it's a male victim, we all skirt around the topic and miserably fail to talk about what might have happened. A male rape victim is stigmatised as effeminate and weak, because a man is supposed to be able to defend himself. Whenever any incident like Zubair's occurs, we think, “why didn't he tell anyone about it?” He was, after all, receiving very direct propositions, according to the screenshots that appeared after his death. When we treat male victims the way we do, how can we expect them to open up?
Under these circumstances, we'll fail our boys over and over again until we decide to change.
Comments