Wabi-sabi – A life of Fulfillment (Part III)

"Art makes me sense bloom.' I need to find a place to free my inner inhibition, an environment that would allow me to break any rule at any point. I like conflict, I don't judge but want people to judge me; because once they start judging me I feel liberated. It's the connection between an object and an observer. It's like a circle of creation and destruction. But in Fukuoka, I was a learner, it was discovering the unknown like a child, learning things that were not new but never learnt. Like using a chopstick, holding a cup full of green tea, not to bother other people's freedom, talking sensibly and making sense, observing details that are happening around and appreciating nature. 

All resident artists were enjoying the process very much therefore we were sharing our thoughts, ideas and concepts of perceiving our understanding to know each other. It helps us to critic each other in the most constructive way possible. It's an intelligent practice to discuss each other's work, process and the method of expression. Our goal was to make an exhibition of our experience at the end. 

In my exhibition at the end of the residency was titled 'From Japan with Love'- I choose to cherry- pick this word beyond all. Because my tribute to Japan will not be enough if I don't tribute my love to them. It was an exhibition of mixed media, I put up the exotic-aesthetic expressions of Ayami's sensual body, imaginary kimono with artificial pink cherries, black roses made out of fabric were installed with tampons soaked in puberty red hue, a real unknown fish, The 'Hotaru' series of photographs, photo manipulation on watercolor. But most importantly I wanted to do a performance with a Japanese girl to show my intense emotional tribute to the culture because on July 1, 2016, even the Japanese along with three Bangladeshis, one Indian and nine Italians were brutally killed in my own land. I was terribly shocked and felt terribly guilty as an artist, a Bangladeshi, and as ever grateful and loving host as the world knew us! It was a performance for me to understand and realize the freedom of spirit. Through touching each other we desperately wanted to touch our souls. Women are symbol of humanity and we were deeply trying to connect through each and every parts of our body. It was an improvisation and self-modulation as well. We slowly entered the audience and started to touch them as well. It was shocking at first for the audience but slowly as the performance reached it's staple the energy spread among the people who were witnessing the 'intimate skirmish'. I tried to make people react to my act of love and violence to being them out from their inner secure self. Because I believed each individual standing and watching the performance would somehow connect to the consequences no matter what they were pretending at that moment. For me it was important to bring them out from their comfort zone; as if they can't do it, we can't break free from this claustrophobic, uncomfortable situation. And for me, I again test my tolerance and limit to liberate myself as an artist. Each step of my performance was digging myself out there and opened me up to touch every individual. Touch is a very prevailing tool to connect and to communicate. Therefore, I was there to search myself again to take myself to the next level as a woman who would not care to create her identity and as an artist whose identity is to create whatever she feels is important for her, for the society without fear. Each experience, each residency, each incident has a profound impact on our existence. That's the force of nature which gives us the strength to create art. I got my soul back and I got my art back. 

Arigatouguzaimasu to Nippon and 'Sayonara' till we meet again! 

Winding it up, with a slight outlook that I truly possess is that an artist is not a special kind of person; rather each person is a special kind of artist. Last but not the least I would just like to say that this journey just made me feel that I'm on the pursuit of happiness. 

The writer is Visual Artist, Preema's Atelier, President-WIL (Women in Leadership).