Almost Useful Life Hacks
Almost useful life hacks / How to survive mosquitoes even if it seems impossible
If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. - Sun Tzu
How we survive Dhaka without really thinking about it (as told by bideshis)
Every day, us Dhaka residents (and from every other Bangladeshi city) do not realise how close we come to death, mutilation and further death. Only when you hang out with a bideshi do you take in the magnitude of the possibility that the end is so near. We are
How to be an almost okay dad
Life is tough. There is so much to worry about that you worry which one to worry about first. Global warming, US-China trade wars
How to become viral
In this day and age of memes, may-mays and monthiversarries, going viral is as important as having water in the hand shower during Number 2. Apologies to my western friends not getting the last reference because you still use dry, coarse paper.
ALMOST USEFUL LIFE HACKS / How to decipher seemingly innocent Bangladeshi sale posts
It is the weekend and you sit back hoping to satisfy your greedy capitalist inner demon—but within reason. (You do not want to anger the wife by buying a Honda manual transmission because, hey, it seems like a good deal even though you are driving a Nissan.
ALMOST USEFUL LIFE HACKS / How to talk about politics without losing friends, family and job
When I was a confused high school kid, a friend's dad sat us down and told us one of those great secrets of life. He told us to avoid three topics of discussion among friends: women, religion and politics.
It's hard work being lazy
People say—and it is always people and not a lion or a cat or a cockroach that says things. People are lazy. They use words to get away without actually doing anything.
How to survive the least romantic day of the year
That's right. This article contains two very difficult to digest morsels of truth. One, Chris Hemsworth was NOT in Dhaka to shoot scenes for a movie called Dhaka. Instead, he was in India which is almost like Dhaka what with all the pollution, traffic and inappropriate groping of women. Two, February 14 is quite possibly the least romantic day of the year.
Be a social superstar by pretending to know football
You might be one of those people who know that a current football player is David Beckham. And that too because you followed Spice Girls back in school and still have a few songs stashed in your secret playlist.
Being a dad is harder than being a murdering, pillaging warlord
Being a dad used to be simple. You had one job to do early on and that involved something similar to that pirate movie line, 'Release the Kraken'. If you know what I mean. Nine months later you were a dad. In the meantime you were running about conquering the world, pillaging the villages and looting gold because that is how
How to appear charitable and cool
Charity is becoming an urban verb much like the word Google. We Google. We Uber. And in a similar vein, many of us Charity. It is such a cool thing to do. And it is such a cool tool for paving our way to social acceptance. Just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
How to appear stinking rich and successful
Appearances can be deceiving. Which incidentally is the mantra for social media success. If your Facebook doesn't have a hundred likes on each phase of your hairstyle change, you have failed. Life is rather simple like that. That blue thumbs up is all you need to be successful. Monks, Brad Pitt and Batman have spent years meditating on mountain tops. All that work done just to attain the much desired dose of social media likes.
How to become a superhero or heroine
Not so easy to become capital 'S' Super unless you follow through four steps.
How to be a MasterChef when you're not
Being a MasterChef takes hard work and maybe even losing a finger or two. Every chef has harrowing tales of losing a bit of forefinger or pinkie at least once. I would not know. But I believe I could have been a superb chef. As do many other men and women. As the saying goes, believing is half the, er, achievement? Are you a believer? Here's how you can believe more authentically.
How to get rich super quick
There is no denying the fact that money really can buy happiness. Beggars smile on receiving 15 taka. A mistress smiles when given a 1500-taka box of chocolates. A public official smiles after receiving a 15,000-taka gift of cold hard bank notes. A genuine, crinkly-eyed smile denotes happiness. Money buys that happiness. In this day of instant like-fuelled gratification, we want it now. But the quick way is almost always a scam. Take another person's misery and turn it into money.
