Smartphones, social media and the Trojan War | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, September 27, 2018 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, September 27, 2018

Smartphones, social media and the Trojan War

An aesthetic picture of the beautiful coast of Sparta with the caption “On a peace mission as the delegate of Troy”, Prince Hector's Instagram post saw over a hundred thousand likes with thousands congratulating him on the occasion. Agamemnon was the only one who commented curse words with an angry-faced emoji. He obviously wasn't too happy with this peace treaty and hence he began to tag his brother Menelaus in pictures of snakes on Facebook.

Back at the palace of Menelaus, Hector was enjoying the social night very much. As he went on to continuously send snaps of the party back to his wife in Troy, his younger brother, Paris, had his eyes set on Queen Helen. “She's beautiful,” said Paris as he looked her up on Facebook. Helen of Sparta, fashion blogger at Instagram, works at Prince and Princesses of Greece, married to King Menelaus. As Paris continued to stalk her profile, he mistakenly ended up putting a heart react on one of her profile pictures and eventually added her up. At the end of the party, as Hector scrolled through his Facebook news feed, he noticed something infuriating. “Paris and Helen are now friends.” Hector felt uneasy. He was sure that his younger brother was up to no good. He ended up putting an angry react on that post with no further confrontation with Paris.

The following day, as the Trojans set sail for homeland, Hector was once again scrolling his news feed when suddenly, Paris' status caught his eye. “Travelling to Troy – with Helen and 69 others.” Hector was in anguish yet again. His brother had forgotten to tag him in the post. He was disheartened, too. Also, there was the issue of Paris running away with King Menelaus' wife. “Oh well. So much for peace” said Hector as he realised that war was inevitable now. 

Back in Sparta, Menelaus went to his brother Agamemnon to seek help. “I told you so,” thought Agamemnon as he decided to call up all the armies of Greece in preparations for war. He posted a status on Facebook saying, “Join us my fellow Greeks as we burn the city of Troy down to the ground.” To spread the word, many Greeks commented on the post saying, “Bhai public koren, share dibo.” But even the thousands of shares didn't seem to work out as they failed to draw the attention of Achilles, the most feared warrior to have ever existed. In order for senpai to notice, Agamemnon and his advisors decided to take the post on to Twitter.

Finally, with the hashtag #WrestleMeyeNia trending and Achilles on the team, the Greeks set out for the beaches of Troy to seek vengeance. 

In Troy, King Priam was very worried about the situation at hand. He knew that the forthcoming war couldn't be avoided even if he had Helen sent back to Greece on a Bhashao ride across the great seas. So, without any delay, he called upon his wisest men and began to discuss plans. Soon, the Greek ships had landed on the shores of Troy, and thus began one of the greatest wars ever fought.

Achilles came all the way from Greece neither for Helen nor for the cause of Agamemnon. He went there for honour and glory. The proud warrior and his army were the first to step foot on Troy and engage in fearsome battle with the Trojans. The brutality had no shortage of blood and gore as Achilles went on to make the Trojans flee behind their high walls. As a Facebook celebrity, Achilles believed that he had all the right and power to do what he had done. Returning back to camp, Achilles thought he'd post about his victory to motivate his loyal followers, but to his utter shock, Agamemnon had already taken credit for the battle as he went live on all his social media accounts. This made Achilles mad as he vowed to never fight for the king again. 

Seeing the horrors of war, Paris, who wasn't much of a warrior, decided to have a solo fight against Menelaus with the winner getting to keep Helen. As expected, the young prince of Troy suffered defeat at the hands of Menelaus. But just as Menelaus was about to take away his life, Hector intervened and fled back inside the walls with Paris.

Without Achilles out on the battlefield, the Greeks were very much demotivated. He had vowed not to fight for Agamemnon again. But one day, his cousin Patroclus died at the hands of Hector during the battle while acting as a proxy for Achilles. Achilles then went out to seek revenge. He killed Hector right in front of the walls. But sadly, Achilles was killed by Paris that very day as this war was managing to outlast the Despacito 2 meme.  

Now, with Achilles gone, the Greeks were at a loss. They couldn't come up with a way to breach the high walls of Troy. Then the wise influencer Odysseus hit upon a plan. A giant wooden horse, a bunch of brave warriors inside it and the rest pretending to return back to Greece. As the night grew darker, the Greeks began Operation Trojan Horse.  

The next morning, a Greek messenger begged to guards of the wall to accept this giant horse as a gift from the Greeks. Paris was a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing as he expressed it to his father. “Gujob e kaan diben na,” said one of King Priam's advisors. Blowing away Paris's concern as fake news, the Trojans brought the giant horse inside their walls.

Then, at night, when everyone was fast asleep after their victory party, the Trojans came out of the horse and opened the gates of Troy. With a fire signal, the rest of the Greeks who had pretended to go back home, rushed inside and burnt Troy to the ground. This marked the end of a decade long war and the rise of a computer virus that haunts us even today.

 

Faisal wants to be the very best, like no one ever was. To survive university is his real test, to graduate is his cause. Send him memes and motivation at abir.afc@gmail.com

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