The Bangladeshi Way to Cracking High School
Having been a teacher's pet and gained nothing out of it, I am probably the perfect person to advise others on how to nail high school. I could stretch this article to an entire self-help book and rip gullible teenagers off in the process, but I'm not famous on social media.
His Majesty's way is the only way
The golden rule of nailing your math exam is to solve problems "the right way" -- your teacher's way. Sure, you can approach the problem differently and solve it in an easier, more efficient manner but don't expect full marks once you're done.
And, by God, don't even dare approach the teacher for correction and say, "But sir, this other teacher solved it using a different and valid method." My left cheek still stings at the memory of the repercussion of the response to that.
Never miss tuitions
"Keep your school close and your tuitions closer" - Moon Tzu
Attending school regularly might be tough. So, take a raincheck every once in a while. However, make sure never to miss private coaching classes of the same teacher teaching you at school (or whatever it is that he does in school). The teacher takes school as seriously as you do, which basically means he doesn't care.
If you miss tuitions though, you hurt his ego and most importantly, you jeopardise his tax-free prime source of income. If you do miss a class in case of emergencies, definitely complete your payment first thing next class to cheer him up.
Own blue pens
A blue pen is the most useful tool for a high school student, a weapon which may even help compensate for the lack of substantiality in your answer sheet. If you don't know why the mitochondria is the powerhouse of a cell, just write the word "mitochondria" with a blue pen. Leave a few lines blank and write "reason for mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell" in blue. Write the digits 1, 2 and 3 vertically, again, in blue pen. And then, using a black pen, fill up the blank spaces with whatever you want.
As a cherry on top, draw an aesthetic horizontal line to specify the end of your answer and hope that your teacher is delusional enough to fall for this scam.
Points, pages and poems, also known as "The Three Ps", are going to help you get the highest marks in Bangla essays (12 out of 20 that is).
According to them, "Poets are born in exam halls." So, unleash your inner Tagore and forge verses. If you run out of points, just use synonyms of previous headers to create new ones and spread them out evenly so that the teacher doesn't notice by the time he flips over 27 pages.
Lastly, don't let your creativity and passion for something extra-curricular come in the way of your academics. God forbid, you might end up surviving school or worse -- wind up being happy!
Suggest Ifti nonfiction at email@example.com