Satire | The Daily Star

  • A guide to getting fired

    Another 7 AM morning marks the beginning of the endless nightmare that your life has become. You slowly drag your hands across your face, tired of this cycle of exhaustion and self-hate.

  • CID went off air, and so did my life

    1997 was a year when I had no concept of criminals or law enforcers to catch said criminals. That's the same year CID aired for the first time.

  • Cricket from a football fan's perspective

    As football fans, we spend much of our time engrossed in weekly league games, UEFA Champions league(UCL) fixtures and couch FIFA matches. Majority of our entertainment revolves around the football season, spanning over the course of August to May.

  • Surreal Reality - Childhood Edition

    Everyone has a different image of their own childhood. Some had their days filled with joy and security, whereas others may not have been so fortunate.

  • Self-help books I wish existed

    The disillusioned intellectual raging at the world from the confines of his own room is not an uncommon character in fiction and at times in real life.

  • University majors as horoscope

    Your Zodiac sign might fail you at one point, but hopefully, your university major will not. If the horoscopes on Page 2 of SHOUT isn't enough to get you through the day, perhaps this might.

  • Envisioning a world without tea and coffee

    I couldn't care any less about breakfast as it always seemed like a hassle to me. But as social convention dictates, I must have something in the morning or I won't have the energy to live through the day.

  • A Detox Supplement Review

    My journey into detoxification and self-discovery began when one night, this woman on the TV enlightened me that in order to detoxify your body, you must take Extra Nut Detoxing Supplements, because your liver is just as lazy as you at its job.

  • MAN VERSUS MIRPUR

    For years, we have been getting reports from general people that a certain ominous area in our own capital has been harrowing the lives of its inhabitants, and no, it's not Uttara.

  • Extreme Documentaries: A loner surviving university

    The loner. A solitary creature living among us in plain sight. Their purpose in life, unknown. Their lonesome lifestyle, often mocked by the ones who choose to be surrounded by friends whom they later refer to as 'snakes' on social media.

  • People based on smartphone security

    Of all the things people judge you for, your lock screen security is probably the one for which you have been judged the least. Till now.

  • International days we need but don't have

    We have been recording history and special events for a long time now. Moreover, in the present age, it is far easier to celebrate new things, trends and days than it was before. However, there are still some things that need to be celebrated but unfortunately we don't have special days to celebrate them. Some of them are:

  • How to 4G Mobile Network Changed my life

    How 4G changed my life

    The day I got my new 4G SIM was the day I realised my full potential. To think I was going through life with a 3.5G connection is insane. Now every day is so fast and smooth, no buffering. Allow me to illustrate just how much of a paradigm shift this is.

  • How a girl should get ready

    From the beginning of time immemorial, it has been established that females take an exasperatingly long amount of time to get ready before venturing out.

  • If we romanticised sunny days like rainy ones

    It's been months since the sun peeked from behind the clouds, clearing the gloominess that clung to the atmosphere and sucking up the tea puddles from the roads.

  • If famous meet cutes happened in Bangladesh

    For anyone confused about what exactly a meet cute is, it is a scene where the two leading characters of a romantic movie or TV show who are destined to be together, meet for the first time. Romantic comedies are never complete without an interesting meet cute, but what would change if these meet cutes happened in Bangladesh?

  • How the rain drips into my heart

    The rain means a lot of things to a lot of people. It might be a feeling of nostalgia, a longing for someone or simply a need to pee.

  • The art of crashing weddings and getting caught

    It may be the sudden craving for kacchi, or it could just be an opportunity for you and your friends to seek some thrill and excitement.Crashing a wedding is an extreme sport having its own merits that can only be discovered if you're curious enough to actually been in one. Whether you're a professional crasher or just a seasonal one, wedding lights are sure to get you pumped up once you're into the thrill of this peculiar activity.

  • Loving animals for a day

    Before you call the cops on me, let me make it clear that my love is pure. I am just a person who is very fond of all types of animals, even the ones which support Argentina. After exhausting the collection of animal posts on /r/animalphotos, I was looking for other places to satiate my animal curiosity. That was when I stumbled upon a potential goldmine: animal shows.

  • AUNTIE VERSION: THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

    Of all the myriad groups of people existing in South Asia, one of the most irksome ones are aunties. Some live with them, some live around them, and some become them. However, with all their spying and intruding, we often try to shun them from our lives and don't listen to what they have to say. So, to make your lives more miserable, I've decided to drastically alter some of the teachings of a wonderful book called The 48 Laws of Power written by Robert Greene so that it instead contains information on what aunties would do, what they already do, their advice for other aunties and what they want you to do-secretly or openly.

  • Tips for learning to drive

    For all of you above eighteen, your most recent birthday means more than adulthood and a national ID. It means you're allowed to get a driver's license and finally go for those joyrides you love, legally. However, not everyone is born with the skill of Michael Schumacher, so let me teach you the way of the vehicle before you run all the pedestrians over.

  • It's a wonderful life

    I have this routine where I regularly recite something I'm grateful for before going to bed. Today, I am grateful for being a woman in this country. Let me tell you why.

  • #PlantLivesMatter

    Nowadays, people take great pride in being vegan. They are saving the planet, they are saving the unfortunate cows from being exploited by farmers.

  • [YOUR TITLE WILL BE HERE. Which must include “101” or “For Dummies” somewhere in it]

    [This is where you give an introduction that will say nothing about your article and will only confuse people further. Make sure you use ample redundant words because you need to fill that word count up.]

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