Scientists have discovered a new parasite and it could be your lab project partner
After years of debate in the scientific community, parasitologists have finally discovered the most vicious parasite in the animal kingdom.
When engineering student Shadman's lab project partner bailed on him for two months straight only for him to re-appear on the day of the presentation and feast on Shadman's hard work, Shadman Sakib feared that he might have a parasite in his lab group. His fear came true after he reported his project partner Rafsan Plasmodium to Parasite Detection Agency (PDA) laboratories and the researchers confirmed his suspicion.
"Just like 4G internet, when you need it the most, Rafsan disappeared right after the lab project had been announced," Shadman spoke of his experience with the parasite. "We had five members in our group. Two of them had no clue what the lab was about in the first place and I'm pretty sure the other one isn't even a student of this university. However, all of them were present in the project meetings except Rafsan. I called him so many times in the last two months that my telecom operator's customer care called me and told me to give up on him."
Shadman even put up missing person posters in search of their project partner.
"We filed a GD in the police station and launched a campus-wide manhunt. Much like my self-confidence after one semester, Rafsan had just disappeared into thin air," he said. "Just when we were about to give up on him, he appeared on the day of the presentation. The rest of us were exhausted after spending sleepless nights behind the project and kept reciting Ayat Al-Kursi the entire time, hoping that our project doesn't crash at the last moment."
"However, Rafsan, with his 100 percent silk suit and 0 percent idea about the project, seemed ever so calm like he had everything under control. For the sake of our collective grades, we had to make sure the teachers didn't find out about the parasite among us. I had to shove my one month's worth of knowledge into Rafsan's head within five minutes. Like a parasite sucking on its host, Rafsan Plasmodium feasted on our intellect, our sleepless nights and our peace of mind, and managed to get the same marks as the rest of us in the presentation," continued Sadman.
Despite the injustice, Shadman remained patient.
"Sure, I wanted to inflict inexplicable pain upon Rafsan but who, in university, doesn't want to do so to their project partners? I was going to let him go. But then I saw him pose in front of our project module and take pictures for social media points. That's when I lost it. Zero contribution, parasitical behaviour, ruining my mental peace – that's all fine. But clawing for social media points is where I draw the line. I reported him to PDA the next day. I pray and hope that no other lab group has to fall victim to the parasite that is Rafsan Plasmodium."
Meanwhile, scientists are fearing that there might be other parasites out there who are more vicious and dangerous than Rafsan Plasmodium,
"It's not just lab projects in universities. Humanoid parasites are all around us. Heck, our women are even willing to marry and spend their entire lives with some of them!"
Remind Ifti to be quieter at [email protected]