THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries

Your breath will smell like a freshly mowed lawn. 

Taurus

Your bag will be taken away by a centaur on a bike. 

Gemini

Your parents will be called to the school because you stole a cactus. 

Cancer



If you didn't have lunch yet, you're probably hungry right now. 

Leo

Post a poll and ridicule your seniors at university. 

Virgo

Become a professional sports score predictor. 

Libra

Your cats will chant your name when you enter the house today.

Scorpio

Wear knee socks and just stay in bed all day. 

Sagittarius

You don't need to do anything with your life anymore. 

Capricorn

You need a timeout. Go to your nearest departmental store. 

Aquarius

Go sky diving in the Pacific Ocean. 

Pisces

I think you will sea a see lion in the 'C' of Colombo.