Citizens to store natural emissions to beat rising gas prices

Things have been pretty bleak in Fapa city. With the Russia-Ukraine war tumbling down on the world's economy, gas prices have increased by 88 percent in the country just within a year. The price of gas cylinders have doubled and citizens have been left to worry about the dent in their pockets just to cook food. 

Recently however, the minister of gaseous affairs provided an innovative solution to the problem. In a special press release from the ministry, he announced that citizens would benefit from stocking up on radishes in order to produce methane at home.

"We understand that this is a difficult situation for the citizens of our country but modern problems require modern solutions. The ministry advises that citizens immediately include radishes in their diet, and store the naturally produced flatulence of the human body," read the press release.

"Many may not be aware that intestinal gas contains many gases like nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane. We have formulated a device to extract the methane from these gases and utilise it as fuel for the home. However, this is not an individual endeavour.

"For this solution to have real life impact, we need every citizen to participate in this biological project without shame, stigma or fear. Only that way can we achieve maximum impact. Release yourself for a better tomorrow," read the press release.

After the announcement of sales of the Gasinator to process the released gas, the consumers' need for LPG gas cylinders had decreased.

Shahana Begum, a homemaker from Tejkunipara, said, "We were so worried with increasing prices of essentials and gas that we couldn't make ends meet. But the Gasinator has changed our lives. It costs less than LPG gas and we produce it ourselves. We take pride in participating in this process."

On the other hand, this innovative solution has led to a staggering increase in the price of radishes.

Mokkul Mia, a radish-seller from Kawran Bazar, said, "I have never seen better times. So many people from my village thought I was stupid to shift to radish farming from paddy but look who's laughing now.

"I'm proud that my radishes have impacted so many people trying to survive this economic crunch. But if the government could subsidise the Gasinators for the rural folk, we would be able to pass wind not just for ourselves, but also for our community as a whole," he added.

Zannatul Iftiar, a student of Agricultural University of Fapa said, "I think this is a great initiative. But still a lot of people fear the stigma of stench and don't want to participate. But we must overcome this. After all, the fate of our future lies in our collective blow-off."