STACHE IT and why

It starts off with a caterpillar on your upper lip. Then, in a matter of weeks, it becomes the line that separates young adolescents from being Justin Beiber to almost looking like Chuck Norris. Or Rajnikanth. The moustache makes the man and if you never had one yet, November, or 'Movember', is the month to start and we'll tell you why.

Dare to hair

One of man's biggest fears, or it should be, is being afflicted by male pattern baldness. This DISEASE of a phenomenon affects 70 per cent of all males throughout their lifetime. So, how do you distract the jezebels from noticing that obvious receding hairline?

Why, but by growing a moustache of course. See, lots of hair signify lots of testosterone and women love that. So, if your head is bald, your face doesn't need to be. That, my friend, is the solution to all problems.

The bargaining chip

Shaer Reaz, a student of Dhaka University, swears by his so-called 'stache'. According to him, his upper lip strands aid him in getting much lower prices in places like Nilkhet. “My moustache helps me look and feel like a man and the shopkeepers see that and exuding such masculinity helps me bargain better.”

Indeed, a moustache does help solidify masculinity when needed but it has a lot more to do with being a plain and simple icon.

Best to invest

A well-groomed moustache is a sign of a well-groomed man; one who is interested in maintaining his appearance. This is an important thing because a man who invests time in looking good is a man who takes himself seriously.

It's not a hipster thing really, but a mandatory one. It shows age, wisdom and grace all at one go and all you have to do is trim around the corners every now and then.

“I feel naked without my moustache,” Zarif, a writer explains. This feeling of completeness and preservation can only be experienced when one decides to sport a moustache. And it's nothing like plucking eye-brows, so shut it.

Respectin' authority

A moustache is a sign of authority and that's why our favourite flick's bad police officers always sport one. Even the most villainous guys are known to sport moustaches and so are the baddest men. That's why Stone Cold Steve Austin, Goldberg, Don Corleone, archetypal Hindi movie villains Danny Dengzopa and Amrish Puri, Clark Gable, Hulk Hogan, Salvador Dali, Albert Einstein, Tupac Shakur and so many before us all had moustaches. Why? Because they knew it helped stamp their authority and it helped make their attitudes more real.

Bonds and boundaries

Women bond whilst chit-chatting. Men bond through similarity. Therefore, this Movember, when you see dudes sporting moustaches, you will know why. This is our movement. And unlike blue jeans, top hats and employment, this movement can never be hijacked.

Our moustache sets a boundary that the other side can never cross. Finally, it reinforces the fading belief in the dominant sex. So, why would we ever not indulge?

There are many more reasons to grow a moustache but we'll let you find that out for yourselves this month. Give it a go. What's to lose but the purity ring?