And, live happily ever after?

Photo: EASTNINE INC.

Is happiness for real or is it a state of the mind? Thomas Hardy described happiness as an "occasional episode in a general drama of pain." Hardy has been criticised for "being overly pessimistic about humanity's place in the scheme of things." We may or may not agree with Hardy, but both optimists and pessimists are still struggling with the concept of happiness and the factors that contribute toward making human beings happy. Of course, the core question is: what is this illusive emotion, termed happiness? Different individuals may have different views, but a generic definition of happiness is: "A mental state of well-being characterised by positive emotions" or, in layman's terms, happiness is the sense of satisfaction we have in life.
Is happiness determined by heredity or circumstances, or can we control how happy or unhappy we are? Behavioural geneticist and psychologist David Lykken compared happiness data on identical vs. fraternal twins and reached the conclusion that about 50% of one's satisfaction with life comes from "genetic programming." Genes influence personality traits like "having a sunny, easygoing disposition; dealing well with stress; and feeling low levels of anxiety and depression." Lykken also found that circumstantial factors like income, marital status, religion and education contribute only about 8% to one's overall well-being. The remaining percentage is attributed to "life's slings and arrows." These findings may cause many of us to take a fatalistic approach toward the pursuit of happiness. If it is primarily genes that determine our level of satisfaction with life, then behavioural changes may not help improve our emotional well-being! But let us not forget that we still have the 50% that is not genes to play around with, at least to a certain degree.
What is interesting is that most researchers have found that money cannot buy happiness "beyond the point at which people have enough to comfortably feed, clothe, and house themselves!" On the contrary, spending money on others makes us happier than spending it on ourselves. Also, interpersonal virtues like kindness, gratitude and capacity for love are strongly tied to happiness. Altruistic acts can be real mood enhancers since focusing on others diverts our minds and we worry less about ourselves. In addition, compassion helps us put our own problems in perspective because we realise that we are not the only ones suffering.
Regrettably, many of us fall into the age-old trap of seeking happiness through increased income, status and material attributes. In this context an anecdote is worth recounting. An acquaintance of mine has an unusually competitive streak and believes that the only way one can achieve happiness is by competing (and winning) with others on all material fronts. Sometimes she takes her competitiveness to a ludicrous level. When a mini-hurricane hit Maryland and Virginia causing widespread power outages in many neighbourhoods, she called friends and acquaintances to find out how many people had lost power. The purpose? Not to empathise, but to convey the message that neighbourhoods that were without power were in some way inferior. And, since she still had electricity she was standing on higher ground. She may have got an ego boost, but she succeeded in ruining quite a few relationships in the process!
I am not sure whether the lady in question is a happy person, but I do believe that deriving pleasure at the misfortune of others does not help us attain happiness. Didn't our elders tell us that we attract what we generate and bad energy sent out into the world will be reflected back to us? This age-old wisdom is now supported by a significant body of research which confirms that positive human interactions have a great impact on happiness.
Despite all the knowledge and insight on how to achieve happiness, I often wonder: "Why isn't the world one happy place?" May be because the strategies for attaining happiness require tremendous effort and years of practice before they can be perfected. And, individuals cannot change their habitual coping styles easily. The bottom line is that one needs to renew one's commitment to happiness every day, every moment, because happiness is not a destination but a constant journey.

The writer is a renowned Rabindra Sangeet exponent and a former employee of the World Bank.