'Do you feel it?'
Thunderclouds roared. People clustered under shopping mall entrances. The sky looked like a concentrated solution of clay particles. Under the monsoon sky, he was drenched. A combination of perspiration, rain and tears did that for him.
Late afternoon isn't the appropriate time to visit a graveyard. But, he was there sitting cross-legged on the damp mud, before a tombstone. The name of the deceased, date of birth and death were engraved in pink marble. Pink.
While lightning bursts into colourful contents and now and there people ran with polythene sheets covering their heads, he was numb. Maybe in his early thirties, with handsome features and striking blue eyes, his composure remained intact.
It was raining cats and dogs.
In the frenzy of a moment, out of the blue, he moved. From an army-green rucksack he took out three candles and a chocolate cake. Then the guy, who looked almost paranoid, started decorating the cake with candles. The biggest yellow candle went to the middle and the others on the extreme left and right.
The air around the graveyard smelled of chocolate bread.
Many of the spirits might have come up from their individual graves and joined him in this celebration. It was her birthday. Birthday of a girl who has taught him to say his prayers. Made him hang himself with an electric fan. Loved him enough to make him live without her presence being felt.
Cutting the cake, Arhan felt Zaira's hand grasping his. They were cutting the cake together. It was all the same. Like all the birthdays they had celebrated. All the songs he had written. All that the heart ached for.
Feeling her so close, his heart skipped a beat. Exerted pressure on his chest. Made him want to vomit out the vomit-smell in his stomach. In a draughty time of the month, he started panting.
The desire to be with her intoxicated his mind like cancer. He couldn't take it.
So, he started to dig her grave with his hands. Deep down Arhan knew it was a sin to do this, but his love made him remorseless. He dug and dug until his nimble fingers grew pink and the authorities tried taking him away.
Fighting them off, fresh tears in his eyes, he barely managed to find a handful of soil. Arhan smeared it all over his body, trying to dissolve a painful hunger.
As he was being bundled out of the graveyard on to the main road, he heard her voice in a babble.
He was standing so close to her that he could almost feel her heart beat. So, with raised eyebrows she asked him: Do you feel it?
"What"? Arhan was startled.
"My heart beat, silly."
"Oh, yes, it skipped."
His heartbeat skipped too.
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