Real seek entry into Farmgate coaching centre after failing English test

Real Madrid player Rodrygo. Photo: Reuters

Real Madrid players have reportedly come to Bangladesh hoping for admission to a well-known coaching centre of Farmgate after they failed their English test, held in Etihad exam hall on English soil.

Since Farmgate is known as the global headquarter of coaching centres, Real Madrid players thought it would be a superb idea to come to Bangladesh and study at a coaching centre in the area that would provide world class lessons in English. This was after they had been heavily hammered by Pep Guardiola's Manchester City, an English club that flummoxed Madrid with their difficult English questions.

Real Madrid somehow managed to pass the English test last year despite having a difficult question paper back then too. That success shocked and enraged City's mercenary fans and they alleged that Real Madrid adopted unfair means to pass the test.

"They were losing the match and somehow they snuck a peak and passed. But every day is not Sunday. We caught them red-handed this time and guess what, they failed miserably!" Bodiuzzaman Barca, a recently-converted Manchester City fan, said in ecstasy after destroying Madrid.

Madrid's great escape last year and this year's debacle have really forced the club to think about their English skills as they struggled on both occasions.

After hearing from a foreign Bangladeshi in England, who scored 7 in his IELTS test after taking lessons from one of the coaching centres of Farmgate, Real Madrid wasted no time to take the decision to rush to Bangladesh.

This Satireday correspondent met some of Madrid's talents ahead of their coaching sessions. They were all loitering here and there aimlessly as our correspondent approached them. Karim Benzema, the Madrid striker who submitted a blank English answer script, was seen buying goggles under the Farmgate footbridge.

Asked why he failed to write anything, he said, "I speak French, but the question was in English. How could I answer it when I didn't even understand the question?"

Vinicius Junior, Madrid's star boy who submitted his answer script with barely a page of scribbling on it, was caught trying to enter Ananda Cinema Hall. When asked why he was trying to enter a cinema hall despite coming here for educational purpose, he said, "Was it a cinema hall? I thought it was the coaching centre we came here for."

Rodrygo, the game changer, was seen buying course material from the stall of a coaching centre. When asked why he was absent from the semifinal against Man City, he said, "Actually, I attended the exam, but my presence couldn't draw the attention of the teacher."

On the other hand, Guardiola seemed relaxed as he didn't have to cut his hair and go bald. "You thought I would go bald? Bro, I am already bald. That was an intentional prank. I got you, didn't I?"