Our healthcare is the best, says minister before boarding flight for treatment abroad

"It is the best in the world, do you think I was just saying that as a soundbite?" shot back Omaigo Bader when an all-too-smart reporter asked why the minister was leaving the best healthcare behind to get a whiter smile.

"All you people do is ask gotcha questions, and you think you are very clever when doing so," fumed Bader. "You don't know what us rulers have to consider."

Less than a month ago Bader, with Health Minister Mahid Zalek by his side, said in no uncertain terms that Chapasthanis do not need medical visas to other countries because the country has the best healthcare system in the world.

"Why else do you think we have Covid-22 under such tight control?" he said in the press conference, and Zalek nodded vigorously. "Hospital admissions are down, the infection rate is down, deaths are down…"

A reporter argued that maybe admissions are down because people are afraid of infection risks at hospitals. The reporter was later, after a month of being AWOL, admitted to a hospital.

At the airport, another reporter – undeterred by Bader's earlier rebuke – brought up those very words, to which the minister lowered his mask and sneezed into the insolent reporter's face.

"Do you think we became the best by accident? You ask why I am going abroad; I ask what the country would do if I didn't."

"Umm… nothing?"

"Nothing is what you do anyway. But us, we sacrifice ourselves for the masses. We have the best healthcare system in the world because when we, the ruling class, become infected, we take the infections out of the country. Whether it's the flu, chicken pox, mad cow disease, restless leg syndrome, we take it out so that you, beloved countrymen, may be safe.

"Just yesterday another minister went abroad to be seen by a chiropractor, but you didn't know that he was also suffering from irritable bowel syndrome," bellowed Bader.

But why a dentist's appointment, another reporter asked, voice quivering with apprehension.

"Ah, there's another aspect. If we, the rulers, went to local dentists, do you think they would have time for you. It's often overlooked, but we need top-notch dental care for photoshoots during tough times.

"The tragedy of our lives is we will never be appreciated for the sacrifices we make," he said, before sidestepping an elderly couple seeking help to go abroad, and disappearing into the airport.