Life after Messi: Barcelona to shift focus from football to mining
Fans of FC Barcelona have been left scratching their heads as the much-loved Spanish football club has announced that they will transition to becoming a mine-exploring organisation.
Experts, of course mostly from Bangladesh, predict that the new Barcelona project could surpass AC Milan's one.
The precise moment when this epoch-making era began is still unknown. Neither the club nor its fans could identify whether it was Lionel Messi's exit or Ronald Koeman's entrance that started the club on its path to becoming a world-famous mining organisation.
According to some historians and their history books, Barcelona used to play beautiful football once. But over time the club changed its vision from winning to digging for gold, diamond, platinum, whatever.
Speaking with Satireday in an Imo video call, which was interrupted repeatedly as the network at his end was poor due to him being 150 feet below ground, Barcelona coach Koeman said, "I am the coach and I know better than all of you. My ancestor was a student of Socrates and his wisdom has been passed down in my blood. We have a plan. We are searching for some diamond or gold mines so that we can repay Barcelona's serious debts. That's why we are going down match after match. "
Messi, meanwhile, was found wandering the streets of Paris, humming something that resembled Metallica's "Nothing else matters".
He scratched his head upon being asked about what was going on at Barcelona.
"Do you think I can carry their mining load? Do you know the bile that would come out when they dig underground? They don't even have equipment needed for the work. For the past two seasons they tried to train me to do all work with my hand. I'm a footballer..."
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