Ageless ageing!
Three uncorrelated incidents set me thinking about the process of getting old, or, should I say ageing? Young readers, please don't stop reading -- I don't want to lose you, since my reflections are not exclusively for senior citizens! And, believe me, crossing the fifties can be as traumatically unnerving as crossing the teens. Despite what many of you may think, old people also have hormones raging underneath their wrinkles -- the difference is that their hormones are, perhaps, moving in a direction opposite to yours!
Let me come back to the point and recount the seemingly mundane occurrences that prompted me to ask myself: How old is "old?"
A few weeks ago I accompanied my husband to his oath-taking ceremony for American citizenship. It was quite a grandiose affair with all the paraphernalia -- pep talk from a congressman, an inspiring welcome address by President Obama (on video of course) and a beautifully choreographed film presentation of the national anthem. While I was soaking all this in, I noticed an old woman in a wheelchair taking her oath and then waving the American flag. I was a little surprised because she must have been close to eighty. Why would she be interested in adopting a new country at this stage of her life? I asked myself, somewhat amused. Suddenly, she turned and smiled at me, her face glowing with anticipation. The uninhibited, joyful expression disarmed me. In fact, I chided myself for being judgmental and jumping to the conclusion that old age was an obstacle to discovering new frontiers. Probably, the woman would cast her vote in the presidential election in November and participate in the democratic process of her new country! Who knows? This could be an entirely novel experience for her since many nations in the world still don't have voting rights for their citizens.
The small incident reminded me that as long as there is life there is hope, and opportunities for growth and development are wide open. I began to feel upbeat and convinced myself that age really is not an impediment to aspirations, as long as one remains enthusiastic and positive.
All was well -- until Rajesh Khanna passed away. The news hit me like a bolt from the blue. The actor was my first teenage crush, but, as is often true, being preoccupied with the hard realities of life, I had lost touch with my fantasy world. His death, however, opened up a Pandora's Box. The sweet emotions and romantic passions of my youth gushed forth and hung over me like a melancholic cloud. I was saddened remembering the young Rajesh Khanna -- so vibrant, so handsome and so alive! The debonair heartthrob of the sixties and seventies dead at the age of 69? Reflecting on the fragility of life, I suddenly felt vulnerable. I realised that as we grow older we need to deal with the hard reality of friends and acquaintances battling illness or dying. Just as we have to come to terms with the fact that we are not invincible after all, and many of the dreams and ambitions of our young days may remain unfulfilled!
The next day I walked into my yoga class feeling somewhat despondent and negative. I have to confess that I am one of the underperformers in the class since physical exercise has never been my forte. I started yoga more for meditational purposes than for pursuing athletic feats. Probably because of the aura of negativity that I carried with me, by the end of the class I decided I was going to quit. When I told the teacher, she asked "Why?" I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind: "Because I am too old for this!" The teacher gave me a surprised look and said: "But you can't be older than me. I am 66 and I started yoga only 6 years ago." The revelation shocked me because I would never have guessed her age. "You are only as old as you feel," she told me, "your age is of no consequence, really."
Something snapped within me and I bounced back from my negative frame of mind. So what if the dreams of my youth are never realised? As long as I am alive, I have the freedom to dream new dreams and create new realities.
While exiting the gym I remembered what Mark Twain said: "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." And he should have known because he lived to be 75 at a time when life expectancy was less than 50!
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