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Dear Mita,
I am a forty-something year old man and recently divorced. Although I am single again I am not immediately ready to have another serious relationship although I would like to meet people and get to know them. The problem is that whenever I interact with women I tend to flirt too much and they get the idea that I'm really serious. I didn't realise I was doing this until a friend pointed it out. I don't do it consciously so I really don't know how to stop it. What do I do?
Prince Charming

Dear Charming,
Since you have identified the problem it should not be very difficult to solve it. There is nothing very wrong with light flirtation. However, there should not be doubt in any one's mind where this is leading to. You cannot give women the impression that this will develop into something serious. If you continue in this way, someday you might get caught in your own game which means you might become serious about someone and she might not be interested and was only flirting with you. Your self respect and sense of decency should prevent you from doing things that will deliberately undermine a women's dignity. I am confident that if you think on these lines, you will stop such behaviour soon.

Dear Mita,
I am a 25-year-old CA student. I use to teach a student aged 15. I taught her for 3years. For the last four months I have stopped teaching her as I could not give time so she enrolled into a coaching centre. But in these last four months I have realised I have deep feelings for her. I know the age difference makes it inappropriate but I can't stop thinking about her. I have never had a girlfriend though many girls have proposed. I have a good relationship with my colleagues, both male and female. I have tried to forget this girl but I can't. Moreover, recently she called me to her house and I went and she indirectly told me that she was in love with me. I didn't tell her how I felt as I know it would not be right to start a relationship with her. Despite this, I can't stop feeling what I feel. Please help.
Tortured Soul

Dear Tortured,
If you have read my column you will know how I feel about such relationships. I do not encourage this and treat is as a breach of trust besides the age factor. When parents invite you to teach their girls or boys they entrust you with a responsibility which is to impart knowledge and also values. Please also be reminded that the relationship between teacher and student is sacred and cannot be confused with any other relationship. Developing any other feelings is morally wrong especially when the student is so young. I request you to stay away and let her be a carefree girl whose present preoccupation should be related to studies and having fun with family and peers.
Dear Mita,
I am a thirty-two year-old woman and am in a strange situation. I am very happy with my husband but we have no physical relationship. It seems he is not at all attracted to me. Sometimes I think neither am I but I feel it is more out of hurt feelings than anything. Other men find me attractive and have told me so. But I don't want to have an affair - I want my husband to be in love with me again. What should I do?

Dear Perplexed,
This is a serious issue and needs to be dealt accordingly. I don't think the Mita column with its limitation of space, time etc. can do justice to this topic however, I will try. A satisfying and fulfilling physical relation is a very important element in marriage. It is natural and most couples have no problems with it especially couples as young as you both. There is something serious happening in your marriage and you cannot just say you are happy with your husband but have no physical relations. The most important thing first is to express and admit there is a problem, only then you can go towards a solution. Another fundamental issue is at what level do you want to place your marriage, in other words, what are your expectations from it. As I said, these are serious issues and need to be dealt in detail over a period of time. If you both are determined to take your marriage to a higher level of happiness and fulfilment then my advice is to see a therapist. You both need counselling, perhaps sex therapy and long term confidence building.