The Retirement | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, July 25, 2020 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, July 25, 2020


The Retirement

Year 2120

The human race is doing quite well. There was a possibility of a climate catastrophe in the early 21st century but they came to their senses soon enough and managed to deal with it by 2050.

Since then, it has been smooth sailing for the human race and the planet Earth.

At the end of Year 2120, a virus started appearing in human bodies. It had no symptoms and thus the human body did not try to reject it. In fact, if it hadn't been for the auto-health check every human being got every month, it probably would not have been detected. This really bothered the scientists and healthcare professionals. A myth that a plague attacked the humans every one hundred years started to circulate. However, it was the year 2120 and everyone was confident that it wasn't anything the global healthcare system couldn't handle.

But then, there wasn't anything to handle. Despite being extremely contagious, the virus continued showing no effects on the body of the host it infected. Gradually, most of the population forgot about its existence. A group of scientists continued working on it but they could discover little about it. They jokingly called it the new appendix. It's just there for some reason.

Year 2220

An invisible flying vessel hovers on the Exosphere of Planet Earth. Commander Xr and his subordinate Qb are staring down at Earth. They are employees of a mid-tier motel company called Galaxy Motels. Xr breaks the silence.

"Are you sure it's ready? We have to kill every life form larger than 750 μm."

"Yes. It has been 1 Lite  since we infected them. This should be more than enough time"

"Press the button, then."

"Why do we still have buttons? Aren't we the most advanced civilization in the universe?"

"Just press the button."

And then, with the pressing of one button, every being on Earth dropped dead from what they thought was a harmless virus.

The sudden silence in the speakers gave the Commander a feeling of peace. After he hands over the planet to the construction crew, he shall finally be able to retire with the commission he deserves. It shall be enough to buy a small moon somewhere in Canis Major. He shall move there with his wife and spend the rest of his life farming.

As always, his peaceful daydream was interrupted by Qb.

"Sir, do you think it's fair that we destroyed every lifeform on the planet just to build a Class-B Resort for struggling Galaxy Travellers?"

"It had reached the pinnacle of civilization. Our Analyst predicted the planet to perish in 2 Lites in a bloody war among the human species. We helped them out by giving them a painless death."

"But sir-"

"Please work. You are not paid to question the ethicality of our business model."

Seeing the ships of the construction team arrive, Xr and Qb set off to report to the Central Command. While Qb navigated the ship, Xr called his wife.

"Honey, I'll return within the next week. Make a list of your favorite moons and we'll go pick one out as soon as I get back."

He put his communicator down as their ship approached the Central Command which was a small planet with a radius of four thousand kilometres. Xr looked at the sign reading, "GALAXY MOTELS: YOU DON'T NEED TO SLEEP IN YOUR SHIP ANYMORE" and realized it was the ugliest sign in the whole universe.

 After three days of waiting, the call from the Chief Employee Resource Officer (CERO) of Galaxy Motels came.   

"Commander Xr! We will miss you. Here are your documents."

Xr looked at the documents and his heart stopped. His retirement fund was significantly lower than what he was expecting.

"Sir, there's been a mistake. I don't think the commission from my last project has been added."

"Ah, I'm sorry. We forgot to inform you. There was an issue with your last project. You did not qualify for the commission. You're welcome to postpone your retirement and work on a few more projects if the amount isn't enough."

Xr somehow managed to stop himself from putting his fist through the CERO's sneering face and calmly asked, "What issue?'

"The cockroaches survived"


Kidwa Arif is a business student who misses writing fictions.

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