Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
When I last wrote to you, I mentioned that none of our families were agreeing to my relationship with the man I love. Now the boy's family is fixing his marriage against his wish, and he is ONLY 20 years old. He says he does not want to marry someone else but that he has to because his family means the world to him. He lives in a joint family and his father passed away a few years back. I thought about eloping with him, but I haven't been able to tell him that because he has been under a lot of pressure lately. Moreover, I am scared that he might refuse to do so. We could have waited it all out like you suggested but there is no time. It's now or never. I can not bear to see somebody else by his side. There is nobody I can share my feelings with; I feel so lonely and frustrated. Please help again.
Dont-know-what-to-do
Dear Don't Know,
If the person you love and who claims to love you does not have the guts to stand up to his family and agrees to get married at the age of 20 then there is little that you can do. This is ridiculous and somebody should tell his parents. Please bear in mind that in this day and age no body can force anyone to get married, boy or girl!  Ask your boyfriend to be a man and refuse on grounds of his future and his relationship. His uncles, aunts or any senior should talk to his parents and put some sense onto them. By doing this they will ruin his life and later only they will be to blame.

Dear Mita,
I am 23 years old and am a student of English Literature. I am very ashamed to tell you that despite being a student of the English department, I cannot speak English fluently. I have been trying to master the language for many years. As I don't find any suitable partner with whom I can practise my Engilsh, I try practising it by standing in front of the mirror or by listening to audio files. But for some reason, it's just not working. I become hopeless when I see kids speaking the language effortlessly. I am really worried about my future, and think that it will be quite embarrassing if I can't speak English fluently even after graduating from university. Please help me get out of this uncomfortable situation.
Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
You have no reason to be so ashamed, as English is not your mother tongue. However, it is important to learn English and speak it correctly for professional and other reasons. Practicing in front of the mirror is a good idea and audio-video aide is also good. But the most effective way is to speak with others, with those who will correct you without making you feel ashamed. I am sure you can find a friend who will help you. Look into VSO's, these are young people from abroad, who go to different parts of the world and volunteer their time for development work. They will be happy to teach you to speak better English.

 Dear Mita,       
I am a thirteen-year old kid. And I am really tensed about my mother. She has joined Facebook recently, and I usually find her busy with social apps such as WeChat, Viber, etc. She has made new male friends, who address her with intimate endearments. My father and mother usually get into arguments but we don't know what all of that is about. My father would earlier get her gifts, but now does not give her money to buy anything, saying that she should use her money to buy her own things. I went through her Facebook account once or twice, and found that she has private conversations with her ex-boyfriend and other men as well. I asked her about this, and she burst into tears, confessing that she does this to pass the time. This is my parents' 16th year as a married couple. Do you think my mother is trying to do something that could harm their relationship? What should I do to make her realise that she should stop doing whatever it is that she's doing at the moment?
 Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
You are only 13 and this must be very hard for you. All children want their parents to be happy so that they have a happy family. This is not always the case. Your mother might be having many reasons for her behaviour and is unable to tell you or others. The relationship between husband and wife is private where it is difficult for a third person to enter, leave alone a 13-year old. You might want to confide to a trusted aunt who loves your mother and will not judge her harshly.  There is not doubt that something is going on in their marriage which is not very pleasant. Usually couples go over a phase, and let's hope this is a bad phase which will pass over.