‘Why should I be ashamed?’

Perhaps skipper Mashrafe Bin Mortaza knows best that his performances in the three-match ODI series against Zimbabwe will be the key factor as talks over his retirement peaked on the eve of the first ODI at the Sylhet International Cricket Stadium in Sylhet yesterday.

The scenario has certainly changed for Mashrafe, whose jovial mood saw him share his thoughts during informal chats with journalists before. Nowadays, the 36-year-old maintains a distance from the media.

As has been the case for quite some time now, a major portion of the pre-match press conference involved questions about his retirement -- a topic that has been lingering since the World Cup last year.

Questions were raised over Mashrafe's performances at the tournament, where he picked up just one wicket in eight games.

The issue of Mashrafe's retirement was again raised after Bangladesh Cricket Board President Nazmul Hassan earlier in February stated that they would decide on a new captain for ODIs after the Zimbabwe series.

Overall, there was a sense of bitterness and distance from all corners for Mashrafe, whether in the case of the board, team management, media and even from his colleagues, who did not inform him about the players' strike in October last year.

The inspirational cricketer has built up a reputation for negotiating tough questions throughout his illustrious career with touches of emotion, logic and common sense in the past.

However, for the very first time over the years Mashrafe seemed to be a little disheartened when a question was raised about his self-respect as he had come in as a non-performing player and taken a spot for the series against Zimbabwe, the side against whom he started his career over a decade ago.

"[Let me clear] about being ashamed or about self-respect: Do I steal on the field? Am I a thief? I cannot relate shame and self-respect with cricket," a fiery Mashrafe responded.

"There are so many offences committed around us but they don't have shame. If I don't get wickets on the field, why would that embarrass me? Am I a thief? I will be criticised if I am not being able to get wickets. Why should I be ashamed? I am playing for Bangladesh. If I can't do it, they will exclude me. This is simple," Mashrafe added.

Over the years, Mashrafe has proved his worth despite having seven surgeries on his legs. Every time questions were raised about his ability, he has he managed to come back strongly.

Mashrafe's body language and intensity over the past few days showed his desperation to prove something. Although he denied that he had something to prove, he will be desperate to perform.

The cricketer was adamant about fighting it out and announced his availability for the upcoming one-off ODI against Pakistan in April.

"What happened is that I didn't perform, which made things critical. But I won't be able to come out of that by overthinking. At the same time, I can't guarantee that I will take five wickets in the next game and everything will be finished; that won't happen. There is always an age barrier which makes every day more challenging. Maybe I am going through that phase," said Mashrafe.