The Languages of the Internet | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, November 15, 2018 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, November 15, 2018

The Languages of the Internet

There is a variety of languages which even seasoned linguists fail to comprehend. And these languages exist where everything exists. Yes, you guessed it right: the Internet.

 

THE CULT LANGUAGE

Konnichi wa. The cult language is THE language of the multitude of fandoms out there. Anime and K-pop fans alike use them excessively on the Internet. While you may find “Winter is coming” nothing special, a hardcore fan of Game of Thrones will absolutely drool over it and the comments section will be full of “faceless men” and “wildlings”. This language is cute if you get the meanings or are familiar to the words, but for a person who doesn't indulge in going gaga over a particular band or pop culture in general, it will be total annoyance. You will then definitely feel like a fish out of water if you ever come across this avant-garde language.

 

THE SHAKESPEAREAN LANGUAGE

The users of this language are out to impress the mass illiterates and make them self-conscious of their scanty stock of words. This tongue-twister of a language, inherited from Shakespeare himself, minus the poetic touch is often seen in posts where people feel like pressing upon their intellectual abilities. The choice of words are archaic. Take your exquisite dictionary with you, my friends, if you want to fully envisage the depths of this language.

 

THE SLIM LANGUAGE

Fat toners have been run over this particular language. What once were healthy, chubby words are slimmed down to ultra-slim nonsense by shedding off the cholesterol of alphabets. And this skinny figure is what enables people to use this language more often than the rest. The lazy ones use them the most. Lmao, ikr? Tell me smth idk.

 

THE MEME LANGUAGE

The only language where a brilliant combination of pictures and words say a lot more. This is the most widely used language on the Internet. The youth is absolutely in love with it. Want to make someone laugh? Tag them in a meme. Need to bond with people? Share a meme. Got to diss or retort to something? You know what to do.

 

THE CODE LANGUAGE

This language consists of actual programming codes. Those who can boast that they are programmers go to great lengths to establish the fact that they know how to programme everything. However, it is a good way for the programmers to bond with each other as they drop these “cypher text” here and there for other geniuses to lengthen the thread. Hydra is just not an organism for them and don't ask me why they call you Jimmy. Reality 101 failure. Stop.

 

THE CENSORED LANGUAGE

It doesn't exist, sorry.

 

Maisha Nazifa Kamal is on a highly confidential mission to defeat all Muggles in procrastination. Join forces with her at 01shreshtha7@gmail.com

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