Types of Bangladeshis you see on a plane
When Forrest Gump's mother said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get," I believe she was actually thinking of an aeroplane filled with Bangladeshi passengers. Confined in a closed environment for even a relatively short period of time can make most people cranky. This is even more true when the closed environment is a hunk of metal weighing thousands of kilograms flying in the sky and the people are Bangladeshi.
If you are flying anywhere soon, keep an eye out for these types of individuals.
The Reciter of Duas
If you have the misfortune of flying in bad weather, chances are you will experience turbulence. If you do end up going through turbulence, you will also experience the phenomenon of someone reciting duas very loudly. While reciting prayers in times of distress is natural, these individuals have no apparent concern that they are sharing a space with at least a hundred other people who are just as likely to die as them but are not on the verge of exchanging the life of a goat for their own safety.
Sometimes, the seat beside you is empty and it is perfectly understandable that you want to take advantage of the situation and stretch out your legs on it. However, most Bangladeshis have no regard for personal space and will, without hesitation, extend their real estate to the next seat even if someone is sitting there.
Then there are the window hunters. The first words out of their mouth are going to be asking you to switch the window seat with them. After all, watching the vast blue sky from one foot away is simply unmissable.
Believer of Early Bird Gets to Exit First
When a plane lands, you are likely to hear the announcement, "Do not stand up immediately or all at once. Maintain an orderly manner while exiting." There are some who are immune to such instructions and believe that if they adopt a lightning-fast speed while standing, they will gain the privilege of exiting before everyone else. These are also likely to be the same people who try to cull their way to the door, at the expense of all those who stand in their path. Or, they will adopt the nicer method and try to make excuses, many of which are grossly exaggerated and unbelievable, to get through immigration and customs first.
Chatty Cathy, but the middle-aged male kind
Have you ever spoken to a middle-aged uncle whose every other sentence has some element of reference to their wealth, their political power, or which famed institution their children attend? That experience might pale in comparison to the one you will be subjected to should you sit beside a person of that sort on a plane. With no room for escape, you will have no choice but to be an audience member to the verbal manifestation of his ego. There is a major chance he will also be that one chronic complainer who manages to find a fault in anything and everything and will not back down from letting his thoughts known to the cabin crew, often in an increasingly unsavoury manner.
Babies and toddlers creating a ruckus on a plane are bad enough. It gets worse when their parents are absolutely not interested in controlling them. It usually starts with the child getting irritated and the parents offering their phones to placate them. When that doesn't work, a half-hearted, strongly worded rebuke follows. And if that also ends in failure, ignoring the child and doing their own thing for the rest of time is always an option.
Zaima is a struggling student, a failed guitarist and a poet in need of better poetic ideas. Send her your sympathies at email@example.com.