5 Stages of Grief You Experience When You See Your Old Crush
It's a sweet May afternoon. Dark skies, a cool wind blowing. You step down from the rickshaw, a little ahead of time for your coffee date with your friend. You pay your rickshaw puller his dues and just as you turn around, your eyes land on them. They Who Shall Not Be Named. No, this is not Voldemort we are talking about (but can be if you ever shared my horrible taste in boys when I was in my early teens). This is that one crush you tried pursuing but ended up making a total fool of yourself in the process. Maybe you used to anonymously write them corny love letters in school or would foolishly follow them around campus, thinking they would never know when in reality, they did and probably their entire family did, too. Worst of all, there was a faint possibility of something brewing in the distance until…
No. Now is not the time to reminisce about your cringiest era and that pathetic flop of a situation-ship. Now is the time to hide. You quickly rush into the coffee shop, hoping they did not see you and while you walk through the doorway of the shop, you can feel yourself slowly slipping away into the first stage of grief.
You stealthily sink down into a seat facing away from them. Your ears feel hot, your stomach is in knots and your heart is still pounding. "Was it actually them?" you wonder. The shock of suddenly seeing them – or someone very much like them – after a long while has your short-term memory struggling. Taking some shaky deep breaths, you drop your head low and carefully turn around.
Yes, it is definitely them at that table. They still have that Voldemort face.
You turn back around. "Just my luck," you think. It was your idea to come to this specific shop today and now you sort of hate yourself for it. Your friend had suggested some cool spots but you refused because this one's closer to your place. Some great convenience.
More than anything, you realise for the millionth time, you should have listened to your friend when they told you not to chase this person.
Lost in your regrets, you fail to notice that they're now on your side of the shop to get a second round of dessert with their friend. A sudden glance at their back wakes you up with a jolt and you consider moving to a new table. They look like they are about to turn so maybe you should just quickly lower your head.
Before you decide, they turn around and your eyes lock.
A blank look for a millisecond followed by a glimmer of recognition in their eyes. Great, they have unfortunately recognised you. Before you can fake a nonchalant face and look away, they grin and walk away, a smug spring in their step.
You feel humiliated and stupid. For staring so obviously, for coming to the wrong place at the wrong time, and for caring. After all these years.
Your heart almost leaps out of your throat as you hear someone call your name from the back. It's your friend, your brain registers a few seconds late. Taking a deep breath, you turn around and your eyes lock again. It stings less this time around.
You look away first and smile at your friend, ready to give them a breathless account of the emotional roller coaster you just got down from.
Fabiha is secretly a Lannister noblewoman and a Slytherin alum. Pledge your allegiance and soul to her at firstname.lastname@example.org