THE AUNTIEZONE | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, January 31, 2019 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, January 31, 2019

THE AUNTIEZONE

I'm unfortunate enough to have been in a wide spectrum of zones: the dude zone, bro zone, even apu zone. If you think those are bad, I'm here to burst your bubble just as how mine crashed down upon me as I, a 19-year-old, was called by a new title recently: auntie.

Some of you may be wondering what all the fuss is about. Actual aunties or older people in general sometimes call young girls “auntie” affectionately. That's completely normal. I wish my case were the same. I have been called auntie on multiple occasions by people who do not fall into the acceptable age range.

Kids sometimes call girls much older than them “auntie” since we seem too old to even be an apu. That's all fine and dandy. However, a five-year-old called me auntie and it was humiliating. Let me tell you why.

I was with two of my friends, one my age and another older, and the kid called me aunty and them apu. Yes, I was shaded by a five-year-old. When I asked her if she would consider calling me apu as well, she bluntly said no.

The other instances took place on the longest natural sandy sea beach in the world. I was walking around the beachside shops, looking to buy some souvenirs. As usual, the shopkeepers were trying to attract customers by shouting and pointing to their stores. I was paying no heed to them until suddenly, I heard the weirdest call, “Auntie, ki lagbe? Ekhane dekhe jan.” I looked around to see who was calling, hoping it wasn't me. To my dismay, there was no other female in sight. I quickly scanned the vendor and realised that the boy was either my age or slightly older. And he was calling me auntie?

The shopkeeper incident didn't just happen once, it happened multiple times. The strangest part was that I was wearing overalls, an article of clothing that aunties usually do not opt to wear. When I told my friends about this, I was faced with immense ridicule and started to worry if my youth was somehow already fading.

In an unrelated incident, I got a new haircut – short and trendy – with no intention of trying to look younger. Completely unrelated, trust me. However, I was curious to know if the new hairdo had done me any favours. I posted a picture on my Instagram story and added a poll to know if the short hair made me look like any less of an auntie. The results were fifty-fifty; my fate has been sealed.

No romantic interest has auntiezoned me yet but you know what happens with time? You age. All I pray is that I don't come back with some new article a couple years from now describing the grannyzone.

 

Mayabee Arannya is insecure about her aunty looks and needs a youth serum. Tell her she looks young at facebook.com/mayabee.arannya

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