This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
You should visit your mom more often.
TAURUS
Why are you so sad when you can be really sad?
GEMINI
Lions don't eat their babies like hamsters do.
CANCER
Your pen is only mightier than a knife.
LEO
Could you pass the mashed potato?
VIRGO
Someone should really fix the air-conditioner.
LIBRA
Some people always smell like bananas.
SCORPIO
Don't drink water if you are drowning.
SAGITTARIUS
If someone tells you look like Hercules, they're lying.
CAPRICORN
Never eat clams with your hands.
AQUARIUS
Brock said fire-type Pokémon are strong against water-type.
PISCES
You are your own favourite boss.
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