Keep you company, keeping myself company
I imagine you.
In a meadow of half-bloomed flowers, full of unwavering vibrance, you've become a part of the beauty. But your eyes, they've become colour blind. The soft welcome of the daffodils don't intrigue you. Deep down, you know they're lessening your dreamed space. The splendour of the meadow doesn't resonate in the black and white you've grown weary of. You await. Your hollow eyes atone for the price of the sins they never saw. Right now, you're like orchids – wishing for the wind to take you away, must nothing else does.
You imagine me.
By the shore of the serene sea, even as I stand atop the eroding sand, I feel as if I'm below it. A hazy, opaque background to my back, thoroughly lacking transparency. A calm, melodious yet deadly sea to my front. The open blue sky of the eerie evening does not know how to welcome me. Nor do the birds that pry on me keenly before they fly away to a place I've never heard of. The sombre waves keep crashing, just not close enough to my fragile feet. "Has time stopped?" is a question I very well have lost the answer to at this moment. But I still ask the sea if it would be alright to stay here for a little while. Even after I suffocate, I wait for the sky to embrace me. I know it will. One day.
You're left in misery, I dwell in doubt. While hope tries to detach from you, fear takes me over. Are you unfazed by the lack of your wanderlust? Or am I undaunted by my sheer faith in meaning?
I do not know. Nor do you. But we're hauntingly aware of everything.
We imagine ourselves.
In a room, dark yet it's bright enough to let us see each other's faces. We sit by the fireplace. Your hands resting inside the woollen blanket you've wrapped yourself with. The smoke from the coffee you've despised so much grants a soft sweet fragrance, almost as if it's comforting you. I take slow sips from my mug as I observe you examining the burning flame from the fireplace. It seems to be illuminating our presence – a kind gesture indeed. I've also wrapped myself in a hand sewn blanket. I love following you after all. Because we always seem to find a place to let our souls fit in. I understand that you enjoy my presence as much as I do, so I stay and converse whenever I can. Unlike me, you don't speak too much. But when you do, it's like carefully crafted pieces of paintings from the Blue Period.
This space we've made, even if it only exists inside our thoughts, never let go of it. We're both powerless in our own unique ways, but we're as humane as it gets. We'll stay, until we find each other, outside of our minds, in this great big world that surrounds us.
I'll keep you company, keeping myself company.
Shaikh Sabik Kamal loves making up words, especially with his benchmate during classes. Send him your own made-up words with meaning at [email protected]