The Common Personalities in a Trip v.2.0 | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, October 05, 2017 / LAST MODIFIED: 02:24 PM, October 05, 2017

The Common Personalities in a Trip v.2.0

It's been one and a half years since I wrote the original “Common Personalities in a Trip”. Trips came in abundance since then, and so did an array of new personalities to ponder about. Although these entries are based on my personal travels with friends, intensive research (that I've most definitely done) suggests that you'll probably find them relatable as well.

THE HATEM TAI

A true blessing to the travelling group. Even with a limited trip budget, this person never disappoints when faced with queries like “Dost, pay the tea bill,” or “Hey frendo, turn on the hotspot.” It's a mystery why the Hatem Tais do what they do where the equal distribution of expenses was promised verbally and the trust between peers spiritually. Maybe it's because they're good people or maybe they're building up a blind admiration towards them to utilise everyone's gullibility in their future shady schemes.

THE AGGRESSIVE FOODIE

When you're on a trip, it's imperative to experience the local cuisine. It doesn't matter if it's normal food that can be found at every corner of your home town. It also doesn't matter if it tastes absolutely terrible, the Instagram hearts will help recover the taste buds. Whole itineraries get reorganised due to the availability or the lack of certain food reviewed on social media. On the flipside, sometimes, due to the insistence of the aggressive foodies, the rest of us get to discover actual rare gems of delicacies.

THE SOCIAL MEDIA REPRESENTATIVE

What's a trip without letting everyone else know how much fun you're all having? If their news feed isn't spammed with at least 37 photos of your adventures per hour, it's better to just stop the tour altogether. The social media representative takes care of this matter with an iron fist and a fragile metal phone. You leave it to them to post adequate selfies and candids with appropriate (the right amount of curiosity and admiration inducing) captions. You can be one of those “taking photos ruin the actual adventure” people but after the trip's done, you'll be thankful to them for all the pictures you get to cherish as memorabilia.

THE SURPRISE ADVENTURER

Others before the trip: “Is this guy for real? He's never rode any vehicle other than his family car. He brings his own tiffin for lunch and it's already been the 5th semester. And he sneezes four times in a row whenever he gets sick and that's like every other day. He's not fit for our adventurous trip.”

Others during the trip (to him): “Dude, I swear to god, if you don't use the safe path to climb down like the rest of us and instead use the intertwined branches of the trees hanging by the mountainside, we will end you if you don't already fall and die…Okay, so you've landed unnaturally perfectly. But never do that again (proceeds to doing it 13 times more).”

THE ONE WITH THE CONTACTS

Need a place to crash with preferably no expense whatsoever? This guy knows someone who can provide a whole resort free of cost, and it's a friend of his father's employer's nephew-in-law. Need permission to enter some place restricted from normie citizens? This guy calls the ex-bff of the neighbour's cat's previous owner to contact the right authorities. Need bus tickets at the last minute and it's also Eid season? This guy pulls in a favour from a bus line owner he saved during a hartal or something. And the best thing about him, he doesn't even need to be physically present in the trip.

Fatiul Huq Sujoy is a tired soul (mostly because of his frail body) who's patiently waiting for Hagrid to appear and tell him, “Ye're a saiyan, lord commander.” Suggest him places to travel and food-ventures to take at fb.com/SyedSujoy.

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