Reaching home safely is mark of success and development: Minister
There is good news for those who have failed or are failing to achieve success by becoming an engineer or a doctor. Chapasthan has set a new "success criterion", under which people can become successes, seemingly by doing nothing out of the ordinary.
"You don't need to be an academic or professional genius to prove yourself. You can succeed in life just by reaching home safely," Obyedool Jader, success minister, said while introducing his new scheme.
"How is an easy task, like reaching home safely, a success?" asked the Satireday correspondent just when everyone was about to break out into rapturous applause for such an epochal plan.
"You are so stupid that you can't see what we did to our roads. We turned our lives into a video game, made our roads worse just to make sure that they are no longer roads, but a feature of 'advanced' difficulty levels of our real-life game. Aren't you a winner when you can successfully pass those hard stages and reach your destination?" asked the minister for success.
"When an everyday task becomes so difficult, and the population succeeds at it every day, it builds confidence and ability among them. They learn to think on their feet and avoid obstacles."
"When an everyday task becomes so difficult, and the population succeeds at it every day, it builds confidence and ability among them. They learn to think on their feet and avoid obstacles. That is the path to development. Will there be casualties along the way? Sure. That is the invisible but also visible cost of development," he said to overwhelming applause.
Students who did not like studying have reportedly been partying since hearing the news that they don't need to study hard anymore to be successful. Famous Youtubers are making videos on "Road Hacks" featuring different ways to cross the roads without being crushed by advancement or some heavy materials.
"I have been living in my father-in-law's house for the past six months ever since I discovered that I didn't have the courage or wisdom to reach home safely, overtaking all the advanced difficulty levels of the roads. I chose to be called a 'Ghor Jamai' than be a dead person," Vitu Mia, a total failure and an unsuccessful man, spoke of his fear of success.
"Not gonna lie, I thought this would be an easy path to success. So, I stopped chasing a good job. But when I learned that these roads were actually some difficult stages of success, like exams, I preferred to be in my room and started my BCS preparation again," Ontoto Jalil, a job aspirant said with visible despair on face.
This correspondent witnessed a heartwarming moment when a person from Dokkhina reached his home safely from Goolkhan. The moment the person honked the horn, his whole family, including the country, burst into tears of happiness as family member became successful in life by winning the game of life for that day.
"Thanks to the Almighty for sending me to a country that gives me the chance to be successful every day," he exclaimed with joy while distributing sweets.
This article was submitted from the house of the man in Dokkhina, because our correspondent could not muster the courage to play the game of life and come to work