Not clashes, just students preparing for world cups

As we are heading towards back-to-back world cups this year, potential participants are spending more time preparing themselves, although most are still unsure of which world cup they are preparing for -- cricket, football or something else?  

One fact that drew public attention is that all the potential participants are students. While teachers are taking their exams in classrooms, students are devoting themselves to practice, or "dirty hard work" as termed by a famous cricketer who goes early to bed to rise earlier to do his dirty work. The level of such dedication has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Photos went viral revealing the devoted students with sticks in hands and helmets on heads. When asked which world cup they were preparing for, one of the participants, pausing his practice, said, "You dumb journos cannot even connect these sticks to any sporting event? Man, we are preparing ourselves for the upcoming cricket world cup in Australia. And don't even dare to call these 'sticks', these are stumps actually. We are trying to hit the heads, I mean balls, with these narrow sticks. Because, the man who can hit the ball with a narrow stick can smash it even better with a bat."

"And don't even dare to call these 'sticks', these are stumps actually. We are trying to hit the heads, I mean balls, with these narrow sticks. Because, the man who can hit the ball with a narrow stick can smash it even better with a bat."

Preparation was seen to be going on in full swing everywhere, mostly in educational institutions, as if the world cup would start the following day.

In a refreshing twist, women were not lagging behind the men as they were also preparing for some vague sporting events. However, things don't remain confidential as long as we have local fellas like Edward Snowden, Julian Assange and so on. They revealed the secret from a fake ID named "Gramer Meye Bole Keu Like Deyna", that female students are going to compete in the UFC.

"Yeah, our fighting ability deserves a better stage. So, we are going to UFC to make our country proud," AJ Lee, a student, said with a fistful of dollars.

With preparations in full swing for the cricket world cup and UFC, questions were raised about whether our students have given up hope of playing football's world cup.

This Satireday correspondent did not have to look long for the answer as he saw some students kicking a man on the street under the scorching sun. Along with other media correspondents, this correspondent went near the site of the kickathon and asked why they were relentlessly beating the man on the ground.

Shalaremar Junior, a student of University of Fighting Alternative, said, "No, we aren't beating him. It's a part of our preparation for the football world cup as our coach wants those in the team who can kick hard. See, our man is laughing.

"Hey man, did we beat you or is it just a part of our practice session?" he asked the man on the ground.

"No, sir. It's just a practice session for the upcoming world cup," the man told journalists as he bled internally while referees and coaches were enjoying the session from a distance.