No one ‘cares’ about city’s ‘sinkhole man’
Last Tuesday, one Abdul Baten, 58, a retired college teacher, fell into a sinkhole which appeared around 11:30pm.
Baten was returning home to Kadabor area, when the sinkhole appeared on one end of the alley he lives in. Within a few seconds, he was engulfed whole into an abyss of garbage. His screams are still filling the entire area of Kadabor.
Eyewitness Ripon,11, who works at Haji Salam's YumYum Tea Stall nearby, said Baten fell into the hole in the blink of an eye, and locals have since been trying to rescue him. Haji Salam said the ward commissioner has visited the area twice and expressed his condolences.
Ward Commissioner Naimul Jordan said, "I don't know how this happened. The sewage authority is responsible for this.
"I can't offer any help outside of condolences as I'm busy working on a hip hop track for the next election," Jordan added. "We'll write some sick tunes about this hole."
Dhoka Waterboarding and Sewage Association's Executive Engineer of zone-3, Meghna Alam said, "It rained all day last Tuesday. Dhoka city is not equipped to handle such extreme weather events. Plus, the city corporation has been digging around the neighbourhood, that's why the hole appeared!
"I'm getting really tired of bearing this burden. I'd much rather answer questions on waterboarding," said Meghna.
Contacted, unconcerned city corporation authorities claimed they are merely doing "routine maintenance work".
"If you ask me, the real trouble was the weather. Perhaps you should contact the met office for an explanation on why they made it rain while we were digging around for an airpod Mayor Faitul lost during election campaigning," said executive engineer of Dhoka East City Corporation.
Asked how that qualifies as maintenance work, the engineer replied matter-of-factly, "What do you mean? The mayor is high maintenance."
This correspondent attempted to reach Mayor Fatiul over phone multiple times, but he refused to speak on account of one airpod being missing. "Forget Abdul Baten; maybe my airpod is also in that garbage hole," was all he could yell through speaker phone.
Dr Farid F Farzan of the met office said, "If people took our announcement of boshonto being cancelled seriously, they'd be better prepared. Rain during summer is no surprise."
After four failed attempts at holding any authority accountable for the black hole of garbage that's terrorising residents of Kadabor, this correspondent visited the Public Works Ministry, only to discover that it had been dissolved.
"This is now the Public Twerks Ministry," explained Secretary Mafiullah, "We wanted to switch things up in an attempt to connect with the youth."
Asked which ministry is now concerned with sinkholes appearing in residential areas, the secretary said, "If people were more responsible about littering, then we wouldn't have these issues in the first place! Stop trying to get us to answer for problems you have created yourself.
"Tell me, does the public work? Then why was this ministry called Public Works?" said the newly appointed Public Twerks Minister Joyly Rahman.
Meanwhile at Kadabor, multiple citizen rescue attempts have gone in vain as the sinkhole swallows all ropes and ladders that are sent down for Abdul Baten. The Coast Guard paid a visit to the area on Thursday, but did not offer any solutions.
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