Around the country: Bite-sized news to fit your attention span | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, April 04, 2020 / LAST MODIFIED: 06:01 PM, April 04, 2020

Satire

Around the country: Bite-sized news to fit your attention span

The Italian Miracle

A returnee from Italy performed a miracle yesterday! He was under self-quarantine at his home in a district town, yet he injured himself in a road accident. 

Please, no photos

A photojournalist entered a quarantine centre to take pictures of coronavirus-infected suspects. Having accomplished this dangerous mission, he was sent to savour this success over the next 14 days in self-quarantine at his home. Now he takes pictures of himself as he "works from home."

A pronunciation issue

"Mask" recently became one of the most widely-used words in the world, ever since the coronavirus started to wreak havoc. An entire village in Bangladesh was divided not over whether or not to use the facial protection gear, but over the pronunciation of the word "mask". One group said it was "m-a-s-k" and the other said it was "m-u-s-k". As an intense argument could not settle the matter, they tried to fight it out, where 50 ended up injured in that fierce clash. Still, the disagreement prevailed. 

Oops!

An unlucky man failed to recognise his mask-clad father-in-law as he approached the latter for a source of fire to feed his bad nicotine habit. Humiliation, not help, followed.

Let's go see the infected

The news really travelled fast that a Bangladeshi, who returned from Italy with cold and fever, was kept under home-isolation in Nobinagar. Over 500 people showed up just to have a look at the suspected coronavirus patient. Police struggled for hours to maintain law and order. Some had even gone in for a touch so they can build immunity fast. The rest is history.

Who do you believe in?

There was huge debate in Rajbari about whether coronavirus has a religion-bias or not. The debate soon turned into a brawl, costing one life. Yet, coronavirus's affiliations remained a mystery.

From heroes to?

Suspected of being infected with coronavirus, a young man fled from hospital in Barishal to escape the confinement of quarantine. As the news spread, four local youths quickly chased him down, nabbed him successfully and got him admitted to hospital. Who would not go head over heels with the four? So, people, no less than 200 in number, carried the four heroes over their shoulders and marched the entire locality to celebrate the heroics. 

(The article above is a work of pure fiction and satire. Any resemblance with any person, organisation or entity living or dead is purely coincidental.)

Stay updated on the go with The Daily Star Android & iOS News App. Click here to download it for your device.

Grameenphone:
Type START <space> BR and send SMS it to 22222

Robi:
Type START <space> BR and send SMS it to 2222


Banglalink:
Type START <space> BR and send SMS it to 2225

Leave your comments

Top News

Top News

Top