This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Would you like to go for a walk?  



TAURUS

Give yourself some room to sneeze.



GEMINI

Don't drink coffee with a straw.  



CANCER

You are a part of a universe that revolves around someone else.  



LEO

Go home early, or don't, it's up to you.  



VIRGO

Hi, do you like fruits? 



LIBRA

Wear as many rings as possible.  



SCORPIO

I know you know why you are here.



SAGITTARIUS

Your phone is connected to your soul. 



CAPRICORN

Please listen to some good music for a change.



AQUARIUS

I heard you like stations.



PISCES

Squirrels should be presidents.