The psalm before the storm

EID Muba-rak. Belat-ed Eid Mubarak. Advanced Eid Mubarak. Depends on when Eid is celebrated.
"What's your gut feeling on the exact day of Eid?"
"I don't know. Till Eid, my gut is totally empty. The only feeling in my gut is 'choi-oi-oi-oi…'".
So, when exactly is Eid? At least we know for sure it's the day when all TV channels stop their regular programmes and start non-stop special programmes for five days.
There are a few enclaves in Bangladesh which celebrate Eid on a different day. Great help for the Bureau of Statistics to easily determine which parts of Bangladesh provide the largest contingent of wage earners to Saudi Arabia.
So, Eid is on Saudi time, Bangladesh time or local time.
Eid Day is over and you didn't have enough fun? No problem -- just go two hours away.
Controversy? Not in the least! Not knowing till the last minute as to when Eid is taking place is what makes it all the more exciting. Despite all the extravaganza and glitz, how boring is it to know that Christmas will never take place on December 24.
Everybody heads home. Dhaka city is empty (except for the billboards). There is the temptation to do what the Chinese did 2200 years ago -- when all the people went to their villages to celebrate the Chinese new year, they quickly built the Great Wall.
This is when Dhaka beats Melbourne as the best city to live in. Stray cows and goats run to the roads for a breath of fresh air. Not being used to such clean air, my wife gets an asthma attack. I show up at the Eid party at warp speed -- only to find the host still yawning and brushing his teeth.
Oh, the joys of visiting the houses of friends and relatives. A new dimension to these visits, "What's your Wi-Fi password?"
The excitement builds up over a month of sacrifice. We experience the agony of hunger and the gratification of restraint. As we patiently wait for dusk, we cease to say: "There just aren't enough hours in the day."
The rewards are in abundance even at the end of each day during the Holy Month. Food stalls turn foot paths into food paths. We are on a heavy diet, eating only heavy food.
And yet, there is a price to pay. There is a spike in drone attacks. After iftar, when you just want to unwind, there starts the droning: "Let's go shopping! Let's go shopping!!"
Prices of onion are up. The only way to buy onion is with your provident fund. Perhaps they're being horded to be used as tear gas during the post Eid agitations.
And thus, the chaos in people's plans while going home and returning to work. The uncertainty of what's in store after Eid. But all WILL return to Dhaka no sooner than the last hour of the last day of Eid ul Adha.
But for now, let us enjoy the three days of bliss and tolerance -- they may just be the psalm before the storm…

The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice) and the host of NTV's Grameenphone Presents The Naveed Mahbub Show.