The best friends I never met

These days we all love people we don't actually know. A man with no internet connection secretly hooked up his computer into an unsecured Wi-Fi signal elsewhere in his apartment block. He used it sparingly at first, then threw caution to the wind and started downloading when he described as "extremely large files." which I assume were life-sized photos of Kim Jung Un in Speedos or something equally irresistible.
But the neighbour noticed. He password-locked his hotspot and changed its name to: 'Get your own internet.' The signal-stealer, having no choice, did. He called his own hotspot: 'Look I did.' The neighbour then changed the name of his Wi-Fi signal to: 'Good I'm proud of you.'
To this day, neither of the residents know who the other is.
This true story was forwarded from Gawker.com by reader Ricky Chou, who offered it as a follow-up to an item in this column about hotspot names which discourage neighbours from stealing your Wi-Fi capacity. "The most thief-proof name ever came from one guy who called his hotspot TROJAN32.EXE," he said.
I agree. No computer user would ever click on the name of a virus so powerful that it wipes out your hard drive, empties your beer-cooler and sleeps with your spouse.
But the cruelest tale came from a mischievous man who found a neighbour's unlocked Wi-Fi signal and renamed it himself, calling it 'Live streaming porn.' If that doesn't make you rush home and password-protect your hotspot, nothing will.
Yes, these are whole new ways people who've never met interact with each other.
I gave up lecturing my kids against talking to strangers when I realized that several of my best friends are people I've come to know only through the web.
I love it: I can talk to these folk every day, but never have to buy them birthday presents, eat their horrible cooking or pretend I like their vile children. And vice versa.
(Only joking. My cooking and children are faultless.)