Chittagonian humour

The Chittagonians are by nature very frank and candid. They are also bold and upcoming. And, they are never conniving. They have a very straight and simple approach towards life, and, therefore, whatever they do or speak, there is a thick touch of humour. Chittagonian humour is as serene as the morning sunshine on the blue waters of the Bay of Bengal, harmless, innocuous, and without malice. It is also disturbingly coarse, referring often to the private parts of the body. In fact, one has to learn to patiently bear with it in order to appreciate it. Chittagonian humour also evolves from relational connections, particularly from the maternal uncle and the nephew nexus. And, another large source of the Chittagonian humour lies in the delicate relationship between the in-laws. Among the friends, each and everything can be a subject for an exchange of humorous repartee. Most of the adult jokes are casual banters made of puns.

Now, to begin with, in Chittagong the maternal uncle ('mama' in Bangla) is called 'ma', which will be pronounced not as 'ma' for 'mother' in Bangla, but as 'ma' in 'maan' meaning mind. Friends, on intimate terms, often prefer to call each other ma. So, when the friends are chatting in a restaurant they will call each other ma to express a good sense of camaraderie. Now, suppose, one of the friends is preferring raw tea to the tea with milk. By refusing a cup of tea with milk, he is actually making himself a butt of the joke that is imminent. One friend will instantly pass the comment to another friend about the friend who is not taking the tea with milk, that his ma (that is, maternal uncle, here his friend) does not like milk. The mention of the very word 'milk' will then start a series of comments rich in innuendoes covering every region of conjugal life, and, as understandable, the target is often the woman, that is, 'mami' (maternal uncle's wife, here his friend's wife).

Another strong adult pun is provided with the word 'khela' (play) and the connection between field play and other kinds of play is made very obvious by the Chittagonians between friends. So, if a friend is found unwilling to knock his body around a table tennis board, his other friends will comment that he is probably preserving his energy for the other kind of play. Or, if his gas is out while playing, then his other friends will try to pry into his whereabouts in the afternoon before he came to the club in the evening for playing table tennis. That friend is often a nerd, and with a broad smile allows himself as to give out the secret that he has actually had his play for the day.

The common word that the Chittagonian women use while referring to play, in the right sense of the word, is 'dekha' ('see' in English). Now, the sisters in-law are called 'taltaboin', and the relationship is no holds barred kind of thing. So, when one taltaboin meets another taltaboin (who maybe recently married), the former will ask the later about how many times she sees her husband every week. Blushes allowed, but the prodded taltaboin will confirm the frequency not by word of mouth but by fingers may be all five fingers at a time!

In the business community as well as in the general public the respectable term of address is badda'-- elder brother. This honorific word permits the junior colleague to use a wide range of light banter with his senior colleague. And, as is obvious, the junior colleague's punning comments are often made with regard to the 'bhavi' (the elder brother's wife, here his friend's wife), the helpless woman behind the scene. So if the senior colleague seems to be in an out-of-sorts mood, the junior colleague might prod him with a question like whether the bhavi has gone to her parents' house or has not seen badda the night before.

The Chittagonian word for 'good' is 'gam', a word which means 'wheat' in Bangla. The non-Chittagonians seem to be very fond of this word. When they speak to their Chittagonian colleagues, they will say, "Badda, gam assan ni" that is, "Elder brother, are you fine?"

Another form of address providing humour is 'Hujur' a word used formally for a Muslim priest. But the word is more commonly used by friends to refer to those friends who are reserved apparently, but hunt for secret pleasures.

The English language itself seems to have been at the core of much of the Chittagonian humour. I know of a man whose innovative humour involving English I cannot resist but record here in the form of anecdotes.

So here comes my friend, a big, happy, diabetic fellow, with all his hair turned gray. The day is the following day of the marriage of his first daughter. His new son-in-law comes and salams him at his feet. He blesses him by saying, "Okay, my husband, how are you?"

"Husband!" Okay. My friend explains: "In Chittagonian dialect the same word 'jamai' is used for both husband and son-in-law. So, my son-in-law is my husband, because that is the word used for jamai." Surely, no mistake in English!

In a Chittagonian marriage one of the formalities to be observed by the new bridegroom is to pay some tips (bakhshish) to his future brothers and sisters in-law before he climbs the wooden stage set for his marriage. This formality in the Chittagonian dialect is called 'gate dhara' an admixture of English and Bangla words. Having attended such a ritual at a wedding ceremony, a young relative hovers around a group of adult guests where my humorous friend is also present, in the best of moods. He notices this boy, and says: "Hello boy! Have you touched the gate?" Well, the word dhara means touch, and that's it.

For the Chittagonians, somebody is never 'successful', but he is 'success'. So, Mr So-and-So is success, and the other So-and-So are not success. And, the later So-and-So are not success because they are not 'high ambitious' (not 'highly ambitious').

And the word 'captain' is distorted into 'kaptani,' which refers to a person putting on airs.