Her New Home
A wedding is great fun for everyone involved. The numerous events that let women dress up to their hearts' content, scrumptious spreads of food for all to devour, meeting friends and family, singing and dancing - it's a celebration of the best kind! And while the guests are enjoying the biryani heartily and grooving to dance songs, it is the bride, who with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, disguising a morbid fear.
In a matter of days she will be moving into a new house, her new home. The idea of sharing a new space with the love of her life is hopelessly romantic and alluring, where their precious new bond will flourish and thrive. In reality, this shift most Bangladeshi women go through as they move into a new house after marriage is at the same time exciting yet intimidating.
Every family is different in their own way, and by effect, every household has a dynamic unique to that particular family. No two houses are the same and that is what makes moving into a new one a matter full of fear and trepidation.
Most new brides experience such tumultuous emotions when this transition occurs, and while many sail through with aplomb, some are left to deal with the pressures indefinitely. Whether a bride is moving in with her in-laws or just her husband, a few words of advice may go a long way to secure a happy, enduring bond between all involved.
MOVING IN WITH THE IN-LAWS
Perhaps the most intimidating scenario where the bride will move into a house already inhabited by her husband's parents, siblings and at times, relatives. A family unit that has coexisted in mutual harmony for years and has its own particular rules and regulations makes things all the more challenging. However, with a few smart tips and tricks up on her sleeve, a new bride can make the most out of this situation.
Be respectful and kind. This is a very small piece of advice that goes a long way if applied correctly. It is a house that has its existing rules, small things like sticking to them will make the members feel appreciated.
Helping around the house is a gesture that gets appreciated. It does not matter if it is something as small as helping to set the table or making tea for everyone in the afternoon. Such gestures will help a new bride overcome her shyness and allow her to know her new family better.
Give the whole matter some time. Both parties should be understanding and give each other space to adjust to this new change. Try not to be judgmental and defensive about every small issue. Strong relationships often take years to form, and a bond with one's in-laws is a lifelong one. So being wise and mature about one's actions will ensure an enduring attachment.
MOVING IN WITH THE HUSBAND
This may seem like the easiest option of the two, but in reality, it takes equal amount of hard work. Moving into a new house with a person one has never lived with before is rather daunting, as it comes with its own set of unspoken rules and expectations.
Be understanding of the other person's needs and wants. Different people have different personalities and quirks, so if your hubby is messy by nature, being rude or obnoxious about his lack of organizational skills will not help. Try having a conversation instead if you are constantly picking after him.
Try to set boundaries. Not every job around the house is the wife's duty. For men, this means not putting all burdens of household chores on her, and for women not to expect too much. Sharing is indeed caring, and helping each other out will go a long way in forging a loving relationship.
Resolving issues on hand swiftly is another little trick most young couples tend to overlook. Be compassionate and gentle towards each other in times of conflict; being passive aggressive will only harbor resentment and contempt.
Try to take things lightly. Being judgmental about every little thing is counter-productive and will create a rift in your bond.