Of patriarchy and a need to change | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, October 27, 2020 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, October 27, 2020

Of patriarchy and a need to change

People invariably get hurt by loved ones; whether they meant to do it or not remains another question to ponder on. I am talking about family elders, who should by now know how to conduct themselves in this time and era of all things politically correct.

It's something they often didnot say, but their underlying tone was enough to bring tears to your eyes; they didnot pronounce the silent hatred, but the casual expression of ignoring you was enough to peel away the shell around your heart; something they carefully avoided or didnot take into cognisance that hurt you.

They donot know the severity of the upheavaltheir blatant arrogance has caused inside of you.And how it dismantled your entire crux of being.

People forget how those subtle expressions, the body language, those pin pricks undo you; things like body shaming, gender inequality, or as simple as the matter of being fair complexioned or not.  And you still cannot fathom the strange feeling how easily these elderlyloved ones throw their noxious influencearound, and how we can hardly retort back.

Anyway, moving forward, whatever they say, whatever they do, some would say you swallow the pain and move on; after all, they are your family elders. But is this the correct way of dealing with delinquency—avoiding them I mean? This giving up attitude of ours actually got them going this far, if the uptightelders were taught a lesson in their childhood then they would have done better now.

We say elders cannot be changed — their pride, their lack of political correctness, their attitude towards life — are the reasons why you avoided them at family gatheringsin the first place.They got away with such political incorrectness in their hay days, which is exactly the reason of such narcissistic confidence now at the far end of theirlives. You cannot expect them to do any better.

The question remains, who would bell the cat —who will teach etiquettes to octogenarians? There are such elders in everyone's family and they get away because of their revered positions, failing to recognise how their personality traits are mimicked by ardent fans in the extended family, or in their socio-cultural circle; men who learn nothing but ultra-chauvinism from them.

These elderly individuals are the reason why men in our country are so disdainful.I would also add that their narrow-mindedness and looking at the world from a very selfish point of view are reasons enough for us to fear these band of men.

These days when violence against women are so rampant, we must learn to forgo of reverence and go deep into the battleground.You may say these are small incidents and casual comments, but what would the little fan of theirs learn?

 We need to stop them from spreading toxicity and also stop thefans from picking such incorrect traits. And we need to do it now!

This week in Star Lifestyle,catch the story of a footballer from Jhenaidah and her achievements.You go girl, nothing can stop you, not even the patriarchs of the family.

Also we have a special session arranged for our readers and patrons; keep a lookout for Lifestyle Talkies tonight, at 8: 30 p.m., at The Daily Star Facebook LIVE for a much needed discussion on Self Defense Tactics and making it compulsory knowledge for every citizen of our country, including school going children. Watch this show to see numerous MYTHS busted by experts in the field.

 

 

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