My big fat deshi wedding | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, December 04, 2018 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:06 AM, December 04, 2018

My big fat deshi wedding

They can be an exhibition, especially the 'Big Fat Deshi Wedding' types, where one spends tonnes of money on creating memories, sprinkled over a few fleeting days. Some say it's a pure waste of money or an exercise of vanity, while others vouch for the moments. Whatever it is, as long as you have a bank balance to back it up, why not spend it on sharing some of your happiest hours with the loved ones?

There's nothing inherently wrong with that. It's easy to spend money on anything, without a thought process, but that is exactly where we go wrong. If you spend some time pondering on the course of action, the end result is sometimes much better than expected. My personal logic is — if I am to spend money on an occasion, why not do it in such a way that the memories linger?

Let's go over a mini scenario.

Consider a destination wedding. If you are wondering where to in Bangladesh, why not the Mirza Mahal, or the Tajhat Palace?

Sounds impossible? Well, pulling a few strings and knowing all the right people is the trick here.

Why travel up to North Bengal for a wedding, you may ask. Well, if a regal wedding in a regal setting is not what you are looking for, what about the sandy beaches of Cox's Bazar?

After all the positive nods, send out the cards to near and dear ones all over the world. If you think there's no hassle in disseminating cards, then you are definitely an amateur.  Order your cards at least three months ahead of the programme, as it takes a lot of time to make lists, and send those out as personalised invitations. 

In an all-out expensive wedding, cards are not just glittery pieces of paper. They are exotic boxes with all kind of goodies, ranging from dates, chocolates, perfumes...be as creative as you want to be.

After sorting the issue of the elaborate invitations, it's time to concentrate on other events, like the bridal shower, the holud, the mehndi, the rongkhela, and whatever else you wish to include. Typically, all these events can be merged into one, but why spoil the fun, we say.

Another major point to note is that the photographers and the videographers hired must be no less than any Hollywood entourage. They must be able to produce good quality pictures and videos where they make you and your spouse look like Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. Anything short of that warrants taking them to court for ripping you off!

To make events interesting and not repetitive, try segregating the content. Like professional qawwali for mehndi, DJ for the holud, playing immaculate music to go along some well choreographed dance moves, or reputed professional singers render timeless romantic numbers.

There is also the matter of purchasing that wedding trousseau, or the preparing for the dreamlike honeymoon. There's no boundary with any of these either. Whilst you can go for a Euro Tour, or the African Safari, whichever seems appealing, you can also shop from Givenchy, Chanel, Malhotra, Sabyasachi, or whoever you consider as your go-to fashion favourite.

The main idea in an all-out wedding is to make everyone happy, including yourself, only because you can. That means not being selfish, but actually more selfless — if you are getting a Chanel gown for yourself, the bridesmaid's or the besties should at least get a little something from the same couturier as your token of your appreciation.

The idea is to be specific, and materialise anything that you have wanted to do all your life. This is your one chance; that is of course, if you are not intending to renew your vows in 2019!

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