Who says I am exaggerating?

There is one thing that nobody can escape and that is problems, no matter how relative it may be. There was once this young man who thought he suffered from too many problems. So, he called out to God, asking for help.

God appeared in his dream and offered to remove all his problems if he agreed to do one thing. The young man was eager to know what it was.

God said, "You have to exchange your problems with someone else's problems."

He agreed readily, and God took him to a room which was full of many bags of problems. He was told he could choose any bag he wanted in exchange for his problems.

He looked around and saw a very small bag in the corner. He picked it up wondering who was so fortunate to have so few problems, and expressed his wish to trade all his worries with this tiny bag of problems. But to his dismay, God informed him that the bag he chose was his own bag of problems!

We are often guilty of exaggerating our own problems, as aptly quoted by Kahlil Gibran, "Exaggeration is truth that has lost its temper."

The reasons for our tendencies to magnify our problems beyond the truth can be many. We may do it to get attention, sympathy, and appreciation.

It usually stems from our sense of not getting adequate attention or a desire to be taken more seriously. By making our problems sound more serious or worse than they are, we, in fact, hope to stir more positive responses from the people around us.

According to a 2019 survey by YouGov, 59 percent of Americans admit to exaggerating their problems sometimes, often, or always, while only 9 percent say they never do so.

The most common reasons for exaggerating problems are to get sympathy or attention (28 percent), to make a story more interesting (25 percent), or to vent frustration (24 percent). The most common topics for exaggerating problems are work (37 percent), health (29 percent), and relationships (28 percent).

People exaggerate their problems to justify their emotions or actions. They may feel guilty and ashamed of how they handle their problems and try to rationalise or defend their feelings or behaviours by exaggerating them.

Another reason is to avoid taking responsibility for our own problems, as exaggeration helps externalise them, making them more uncontrollable giving a leeway to escape from our own flaws or challenges.

The practice of exaggerating problems is rampant in every sphere of life, from personal to corporate, particularly in the sub-continent. Every other person seems to have an attitude that he or she is carrying the nation's problems on their back. But this attitude can have grave adverse consequences for all concerned, namely miscommunication and conflict with others.

Exaggerating our problems may create a false impression that others may not agree with or understand. But more importantly, it leads to mistrust or loss of credibility and social mockery or even isolation.

We fail to realise that when we exaggerate our problems, we focus more on the negative aspects of our lives, overlooking our strengths and achievements. As a result, it lowers our self-esteem and prevents us from finding fulfilment in life.

Therefore, it is essential to be honest about our problems and call a spade a spade. In fact, it can earn us more social credibility and respect and, more importantly, help us channel our energy towards the solution.

Try not to exaggerate your own importance, your status, or your own problems. Remember, you are not a big deal. You are a dot in the universe. You are one out of a few billion people. You are one out of countless trillions of living things. You are not a big deal and neither are your problems.

The author is founder and managing director of BuildCon Consultancies Ltd