It's a wonderful life | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, January 18, 2018 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, January 18, 2018

SATIRE

It's a wonderful life

I have this routine where I regularly recite something I'm grateful for before going to bed. Today, I am grateful for being a woman in this country. Let me tell you why.

First and foremost, in this country women don't have the burden of making any decisions. Starting from what kind of clothes I should be wearing right down to how many kids I should be having – every major and minor life decision is taken for me by the far superior gender. It's absolutely grand to have your life be controlled by other people. It's actually been a dream of mine to be a puppet.

Secondly, I probably saved like millions my entire life by not going to amusement parks since my blood is always pumping adrenaline. It does at least every time I leave my house. My favourite ride is riding the bus. There are “mohila seat” to remind us that we are special. But when these seats are filled up, you either sit somewhere else or stand. Even if you watched “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” while riding the world's fastest roller coaster, it still would not compare to the adrenaline rush you get from this.

Apart from this, the occasional “bumps” and “nudges” on the road are also something I look forward to daily. Getting shoved by strange men is absolutely normal, yes? Not to mention the vulture-like gaze. It helps me walk faster and therefore I'm always on time.

A lot of us have complained time and again about being numb. Not to worry. Sometimes the people in the street get a bit creative and they come up to you and utter words that I can't really write here because of obvious reasons. These interactions really get your blood boiling; so you feel anger. You feel something. Yours truly has been a victim of a few of these situations herself.

Okay, now can we all agree on one thing? Studying is truly a drag, right? That is why in some rural parts of the country girls are forced to drop out of school, and are married off. It's surely more fun to wake up at all hours of the night to feed the baby. Also, it's obviously very good for the economy if every household has only one earner.

So, why don't we all take a moment to appreciate all these wonderful opportunities that the women in this country have? It's truly a wonderful time to be a woman.

 

Tasnim Odrika is having an existential crisis at the moment and doesn't really know who she is anymore. Send her compliments at odrika_02@yahoo.com

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